Self-Care

Self Care seems to be all the buzz these days. Do you know what it really means?   Further more, what it means to you and what self-care looks like for you. Self-care is literally that; intentionally taking care of ones-self. It is giving yourself the time, love, and attention to nourish your mind, body, and soul. 

A busy mom is a good example of someone who might need a reminder to care for herself. "I don't have time" is a common reason people cite for not engaging in self care behaviors; though what some might not realize is self care can be simple and not necessarily a time guzzler. The last thing anyone seems to need these days is more on his/her plate and added stress. Taking good care of yourself may mean adding a small bit of time to your daily routine, but time spent that you will likely feel throughout the day/week.   Examples of self care include: taking a 10 minute bubble bath; 3 minute breathing exercises; 5 minute daily meditation. Other examples might be: taking a walk each morning; doing yoga a few times per week; scheduling time for a professional massage, leaving work on time to make a healthy dinner for yourself; committing to regular therapy sessions; listening to soothing music or reading a book; scheduling time away (even if for a few hours) with yourself, family, or friends. 

The mom above might wonder how she will make that time happen...But the bigger question is if she doesn't take care of herself, who will and if she doesn't have a self care practice, what is the consequence to her and her family? Is she more irritable, feeling overwhelmed, emotionally and physically exhausted.)  Self-care really is a "return on your investment" It truly is taking good care of yourself to feel like a better YOU, for you and your loved ones. 

How do you take care of yourself? If you do not currently have a routine practice of self care, can you think of what you might like to implement?

If you'd like to discuss this further to see if a professional therapist could be helpful, contact us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center, at 240-274-5680 or admin@HealingLLC.com. Or you can visit our website for more information at www.HealingLLC.com.

How To Respond To A Loss

It is one of the guarantees of life, and it is not taxes; it is the other one, death. To be intentionally blunt, we will all some day die; we will lose loved ones, expectedly and sometimes unexpectedly.  Despite this being a universal truth that crosses all societies and cultures; we often still continue to struggle to find the appropriate way to express condolences to friends, family, and colleagues in a time of loss. Oftentimes a lot of thought goes into the decisions of how to acknowledge grief after learning the loss of someones near and dear. 

* To go or not to go to a Funeral, Wake, Visitation, Shiva, Memorial? 

* To send a card, make a telephone call, write an email, bring a meal, or send flowers?

A common struggle is to figure out "what to say" to or "what to do" for a person in mourning. Are there "right" words to say? People often shy away from talking about a death/loss due to ones own discomfort with death. The uncomfortable feelings that can get stirred up in us may be related to multiple factors, including our own personal recent and past losses. There is often a desire and anxiety about wanting to say the proper thing. Sometimes that anxiety or uncertainty about what to say results in nothing being said or done, perhaps leading to more uncomfortable feelings. When in a position of feeling unsure about what to say, think about what you might appreciate from a friend/family member/colleague if you were in mourning. 

Perhaps you would like:

* a hug

* someone to just sit and be with you

* someone to just acknowledge your loss "I am so sorry for your loss" or "I don't have the right words, but know I am here for you" or simply "thinking of you during this difficult time"

* knowing you are not alone and people do care

Important to consider as well is losses come in variety of forms as well, including: loss of a job, death of a pet, a pregnancy miscarriage or infertility, ending of relationship or divorce. Times does help heal, though grief has no time line and it is important to remember that everyone truly does cope and deal with losses in different ways and in his/her own time. If you find yourself having a difficult time managing around a death or another loss, a trained therapist can help you sort through your feelings and support you and help you cope with the pain and loss. Here at Another Look At Healing, Now Gaithersburg Counseling Center we have multiple counselors available to talk with and see if counseling could be helpful for you at this time. Contact us for more information or resources at 240-274-5680 or Admin@HealingLLC.com or visit us online at www.HealingLL.com.

Common Misconceptions In Going to a Therapist/Counselor/Psychotherapist

Common Misconceptions of going to a Therapist/Counselor/PsychotherapistThe thought of going to therapy can be scary and perhaps intimidating, which is normal. There are several misconceptions about going to therapy that we would like to outline to hopefully ease some of your anxieties about getting started.

1) You will be expected to lay down on the couch and talk about all your deepest darkest secrets

Most therapist offices these days have a couch (to sit on); or chairs to sit on; and you will usually be sitting facing each other. Trained Psychoanalysts conducting traditional psychoanalysis will have a patient lay down on a couch while the psychoanalyst will be sitting behind him or her listening. That type of therapy is quite different than the general psychotherapy I am referring to in this article. In therapy, you share what you are comfortable with sharing at the given time; the therapist knows to go at a pace you are comfortable with and understands building a relationship that feels safe takes time.

2) Your therapist has all the answers.

Surprise! No training in the world could offer anyone the solutions to every patients problems/concerns. In fact, most well trained therapists rather than give you answers, will help you develop tools and come to your own solutions with his/her help. In addition you can and will learn ways of managing on your own more effectively.

3) Only those who are "crazy" seek therapy.

No. No, and no. Seeking therapy and help for a mental health disorder, crisis, or to improve self in various ways is seen as a strength. It is actually quite brave and healthy (not crazy) to be willing to seek help/therapy. People go to therapy for so many different reasons including relationship concerns, grief/loss,to improve self esteem/confidence, difficulty in decision making, change of life events, and sometimes just to have an objective person to talk with. Often our cultural beliefs, societal, and family beliefs play into our personal beliefs about counseling.

4) I had a bad experience in therapy, why would I bother trying again?

Unfortunately there are times when one might try therapy and find that there is not that "right fit" with the therapist.  It can be painful to start with a therapist, allow yourself to be vulnerable to then find that the counselor you started with is not the best fir for you. Starting over with a new therapist can be difficult, but often significant for your best experience in therapy. Sometimes you might need to check out a few different professionals to find a therapist who will be supportive in a way that is going to be most helpful for you. It does take more energy to do that work, but in the end the right fit can make all the difference and feel worth it.

5) I don't need a therapist...I have friends/family/partner/co-workers to talk to.

Friends are great to have and even better to be able to share with especially when conflicts arise in your personal life. A therapist is an objective person who wants ultimately the best for you and may help you see things about yourself that perhaps your friend is not willing to share with you.

Overall, therapy/counseling can seem like a mysterious experience with a lot of misconceptions out there about the process in general. If you have been considering therapy or feel like you may want to give yourself the opportunity to try to get help reaching out is the first (and big!) step. If you have any questions about our services feel free to contact us as we would be pleased to talk with you. You can reach us at www.HealingLLC.com or by calling 240-274-5680 or emailing Admin@HealingLLC.com.

Changing how we make New Years Resolutions and adding more compassion...

Posted on December 30, 2015 by Mindful Decluttering and Organizing, LLC

Guest Post by Amy Hooper from Another Look at Healing

As this year nears its end and we look ahead to 2016, what if, instead of thinking about our resolutions, we challenge ourselves to view the different aspects of our lives as part of a broader journey toward greater personal growth?

If we ask ourselves questions such as: How can I be kinder to myself? How can I ask more for what I want and need? And how can I communicate my feelings with others more effectively? Then we’re thinking about the things in life that lead to healthier living. Taking the time to figure out these issues is no easy task, so we at Another Look at Healing, Counseling and Wellness Center would like to offer several tips to help you along your journey - so stay tuned for our next post!

1. Take reasonable steps. You want to match your personality, skill set, strengths and weaknesses to the goals you’re setting. And make sure the goals are not too big or too small. This way, the chances of disappointment are decreased, and your motivation increased by achieving what you have set for yourself to accomplish.

2. Set clear goals. The more you can identify and clarify your goals, the more motivated you will become to achieve them. For example, write down specific lists of exactly what you want to accomplish, and then break it down into tangible, practical steps.

3. Use your senses. See, hear, and feel what it’s like to have that thing or person you so desire. Visualizing your goals may inspire you to achieve them!

4. Your goals are yours and not someone else’s. Your goals need to resonate with who you are and what you’re capable of. Focusing on what someone else has or what someone else can do can impose a lot of stress without much joy. Keep our #1 tip in mind here!

5. Balance. Balance. Balance. Sticking to one area of your life too much and for too long while ignoring other areas may backfire, so be aware of your priorities, and look at your life in the long term as well as short with a sense of moderation.

6. Finally, your actions speak louder than your words. When you respect your word (whether thinking to yourself or talking aloud) and follow through with your actions, you build a sense of trust within yourself that helps you become stronger, more determined and more you. This season, look inside to find the wisest part of you for the answers of what you want to accomplish this next year.

If you would like some support in order to be kinder and more compassionate with yourself, counseling can help. You can visit our website www.HealingLLC.com or contact us at 240-274-5680 or Admin@HealingLLC.com with any questions or to schedule a counseling appointment.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP, Director, Gaithersburg Counseling Center

What are you resolving to do this holiday season and in the new year?

Posted on December 30, 2015 by Mindful Decluttering and Organizing, LLC

Guest Post by Amy Hooper from Another Look at Healing

As each year comes to a close, we’re often compelled to think of our New Year’s resolutions – this year, I’m going to…“cut chocolate out of my diet and drink less soda,” “exercise more – maybe 3 times a week?” “read more books or join a book club," “do more of the things that I want to do, but never get around to doing,”… the list goes on.

These resolutions translate into the various components of life – relationships, financial stability, health (emotional, spiritual and physical), giving back to the world, having a meaning in life – all of which influence each of us differently, shape our experiences, and affect our overall well-being.

As this year nears its end and we look ahead to 2016, what if, instead of thinking about our resolutions, we challenge ourselves to view the different aspects of our lives as part of a broader journey toward greater personal growth?

If we ask ourselves questions such as: How can I be kinder to myself? How can I ask more for what I want and need? And how can I communicate my feelings with others more effectively? Then we’re thinking about the things in life that lead to healthier living. Taking the time to figure out these issues is no easy task, so we at Another Look at Healing, Counseling and Wellness Center would like to offer several tips to help you along your journey - so stay tuned for our next post!

If you would like some support in order to be kinder and more compassionate with yourself, counseling can help. You can visit our website www.HealingLLC.com or contact us at 240-274-5680 or Admin@HealingLLC.com with any questions or to schedule a counseling appointment.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP, Director, Gaithersburg Counseling Center

Attempt to Reduce Stress - What is Stress? - Adapted from a Post written by Leo Babauta (part 2/2)

Are you stressed? It could be a result of a stressful home life, habits, or chaotic work conditions. Instead of adopting old habits (reaching for food, drinking, or smoking for comfort) to deal with stress that could only lead to other problems. Here’s more options of on a list of things you can  do to get your life to a more manageable level of stress, a continuation from our last post.


3. Simplify your finances. Spending too much, late fees, trying to remember when to pay

what bill, or finding those paper bills that you’ve placed somewhere. First, pinpoint what

stresses you out about your finances. Automate savings, bill payments, and debt

payments can be a solution. Or it could be trying to spend less by reducing your shopping

trips (online too).

4. Have a blast! Have fun each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes.  This may include

playing with your kids outside, watching a funny TV show, reading your favorite comic

or looking online for silly jokes or inspirational phrases. Engage in something that takes

your mind of your stressors daily. Play sports, board games, read, dance, or watch

Youtube videos. Whatever you choose, be sure to laugh.

5. One thing at a time!

Start reducing your stress today! But remember, take it slow and do one thing at a time.

Focus as much as possible on doing one thing at a time.  Clear your desk of distractions.

Pick something to work on. Need to get ready for a presentation at work? Do only that.

Remove distractions such as phones and email notifications while you’re working on

that report. This takes practice, and you’ll get urges to do other things. But it can be done!

If you would like some support in order to manage your stress, counseling can help. You can visit our website www.HealingLLC.com or contact us at 240-274-5680 or Admin@HealingLLC.com with any questions or to schedule a counseling appointment.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP, Director, Gaithersburg Counseling Center

Dena Alalfey, Graduate Intern

References: Zen habits : Breathe. (n.d.). Retrieved May 26, 2015, from

http://zenhabits.net/10-simple-ways-to-live-a-less-stressful-life/

Attempt to Reduce Stress - What is Stress? - Adapted from a Post written by Leo Babauta (Part 1/2)

Stress - /stres/

noun

1. Pressure or tension exerted on a material object.

2. A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very

demanding circumstances.

verb

1. Give particular emphasis or importance to (a point, statement, or idea) made in speech

or writing.

2. Subject to pressure or tension.


Are you stressed? It could be a result of a stressful home life, habits, or chaotic work conditions. Instead of adopting old habits (reaching for food, drinking, or smoking for comfort) to deal with stress that could only lead to other problems, or attempting to eliminate stress completely from our lives, we can know that stress is evident in everyone’s life and there are ways to reduce it. No need to strive for a stress free life.

First, it’s not possible! And second, stress challenges us and helps us grow. When stress gets too high, we feel unhappy and can become unhealthy. See our next post for more from our list of things you can  do to get your life to a more manageable level of stress.

1. Be early. It may sound challenging to do if you like to hit that snooze button or if you

have kids to get out of the door with you. But being late can make you frantic. This can

be a stressful start to your day. Try waking up earlier, or scheduling more space between

events. Getting somewhere a few minutes early can give you time to catch up on your

reading or browse the internet on your phone or get ready for your next meeting.

2. Declutter.  Take 20-30 minutes to throw away things you don’t need in each room.

Clutter can be very stressful when looking at or when trying to find things we’re looking

for. A decluttered space is found to be a peaceful environment for work, play, and living.

For each object, you can ask yourself "Does this bring joy, peace and calm into my life?",

and see what emerges as the response.



Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP, Director, Gaithersburg Counseling Center

Dena Alalfey, Graduate Intern

References: Zen habits : Breathe. (n.d.). Retrieved May 26, 2015, from

http://zenhabits.net/10-simple-ways-to-live-a-less-stressful-life/