Attempt to Reduce Stress - What is Stress? - Adapted from a Post written by Leo Babauta (Part 1/2)

Stress - /stres/

noun

1. Pressure or tension exerted on a material object.

2. A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very

demanding circumstances.

verb

1. Give particular emphasis or importance to (a point, statement, or idea) made in speech

or writing.

2. Subject to pressure or tension.


Are you stressed? It could be a result of a stressful home life, habits, or chaotic work conditions. Instead of adopting old habits (reaching for food, drinking, or smoking for comfort) to deal with stress that could only lead to other problems, or attempting to eliminate stress completely from our lives, we can know that stress is evident in everyone’s life and there are ways to reduce it. No need to strive for a stress free life.

First, it’s not possible! And second, stress challenges us and helps us grow. When stress gets too high, we feel unhappy and can become unhealthy. See our next post for more from our list of things you can  do to get your life to a more manageable level of stress.

1. Be early. It may sound challenging to do if you like to hit that snooze button or if you

have kids to get out of the door with you. But being late can make you frantic. This can

be a stressful start to your day. Try waking up earlier, or scheduling more space between

events. Getting somewhere a few minutes early can give you time to catch up on your

reading or browse the internet on your phone or get ready for your next meeting.

2. Declutter.  Take 20-30 minutes to throw away things you don’t need in each room.

Clutter can be very stressful when looking at or when trying to find things we’re looking

for. A decluttered space is found to be a peaceful environment for work, play, and living.

For each object, you can ask yourself "Does this bring joy, peace and calm into my life?",

and see what emerges as the response.



Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP, Director, Gaithersburg Counseling Center

Dena Alalfey, Graduate Intern

References: Zen habits : Breathe. (n.d.). Retrieved May 26, 2015, from

http://zenhabits.net/10-simple-ways-to-live-a-less-stressful-life/

Happy Holidays! Happy New Year!

Wishing you all a warm, wonderful and healthy holiday season and a happy new year!

If you are looking for support in making changes and growing the life you always wanted, feel free to contact us here at Another Look at Healing, LLC at 240-274-5680 or by emailing Admin@HealingLLC.com. Our website is www.HealingLLC.com for more details.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, Director &

Abbie Mortimer, Executive Assistant  

Creating Space for Self and Hospitality for Others

The colors of fall have most certainly changed to brown and the sun disappears earlier in the evening. Meanwhile, the smells of food have turned to warming cinnamon, brisk peppermint, and hearty stews.  In addition to the visible changes of the season, hospitality comes to mind when we begin to think of the holidays approaching. Welcoming guests, whether family or nearly complete strangers, involves preparation, commitment, and generosity.  These components may initially feel as though they are only about a home or a physical place, but preparation, commitment and generosity are also about the way we prepare ourselves to welcome a guest and to be more gracious and compassionate with ourselves.

In a recent article, “How to Create Safe Places” by Chalese Dunton, she writes: “I have come to realize no matter who we are, we all crave spaces where we can be known and loved in the most authentic ways. When we step out in courage to create those spaces for others, we find our own souls fed and our own lives changed.”  She is right, it does take courage to step out and create space for others. We can see this as a life of hospitality towards others and toward yourself.  To have courage to be hospitable and create spaces, it takes a certain amount of personal preparation.  Have I made time to relax and calm the inner chaos that can creep up with life’s responsibilities?  Have I set aside time to prioritize what is most important to me and my family in this season of our life? What have I done recently as a creative outlet?

In order to create spaces for the self and for others and connection with them, a level of commitment is necessary. New relationships and community take time and commitment to grow. A small note to a friend or an invitation for the neighbor kids to come out and play have been small but meaningful acts of intentional relationship building among the community. Time sitting and quietly breathing or finding inspirational quotes can be fulfilling and a healthy way to practice self compassion.

Finally, generosity from within myself creates a hospitable atmosphere for another person or yourself to be welcomed and not judged.  While staying safe and being true to yourself, you can remember to treat the other person as you would a new dear friend, and to treat yourself the same way.  You can strive to share your authentic self in order to connect beyond a superficial level.

It can be easy to become discouraged from time to time!  Trying something new takes courage and vulnerability.  If you want to work on making these shifts, you deserve support during these challenges. Talking to a trusted or therapist can help you reflect, support you and help you to aim at the goals you have set for yourself.  You may often be taken by surprise that life changes, for the better, when we work at creating these spaces of hospitality for others and for yourself.

For support in making changes and growing, feel free to contact us here at Another Look at Healing, LLC at 240-274-5680 or by emailing Admin@HealingLLC.com. Our website is www.HealingLLC.com for more details.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, Director &

Abbie Mortimer, Executive Assistant  

Self Help for 2014 - What are you resolving to do next year?

As each year comes to a close, we’re often compelled to think of our New Year’s resolutions – This year, I’m going to…“cut chocolate out of my diet and drink less soda.”, “exercise more – maybe 3 times a week?”, “read more books or join a book club”, “do more of the things that I want to do, but never get around to doing.”… the list goes on.

These resolutions translate into the various components of life -- relationships, financial stability, health (emotional, spiritual and physical), giving back to the world, having a meaning in life -- all of which influence each of us differently, shape our experiences, and affect our overall well-being.

As this year nears its end and we look ahead to 2014, what if, instead of thinking about our resolutions, we challenge ourselves to view the different aspects of our lives as part of a broader journey toward greater personal growth?

If we ask ourselves questions such as: How can I be kinder to myself? How can I ask more for what I want and need? And how can I communicate my feelings with others more effectively? Then we’re thinking about the things in life that lead to healthier living. Taking the time to figure out these issues is no easy task, so we at Another Look at Healing, LLC – Counseling and Wellness Center, would like to offer several tips to help you along your journey:

1.      Take reasonable steps. You want to match your personality, skill set, strengths and weaknesses to the goals you’re setting.  And make sure the goals are not too big or too small. This way, the chances of disappointment are decreased, and your motivation increased by achieving what you have set for yourself to accomplish.

2.      Set clear goals. The more you can identify and clarify your goals, the more motivated you will become to achieve them. For example, write down specific lists of exactly what you want to accomplish, and then break it down into tangible, practical steps.

3.      Use your senses. See, hear, and feel what it’s like to have that thing or person you so desire. Visualizing your goals may inspire you to achieve them!

4.      Your goals are yours and not someone else’s. Your goals need to resonate with who you are and what you’re capable of.  Focusing on what someone else has that you don’t or what someone else can do that you want to be able to, can impose a lot of stress without much joy. Keep our #1 tip in mind here!

5.      Balance. Balance. Balance. Sticking to one area of your life too much and for too long while ignoring other areas may backfire, so be aware of your priorities, and look at your life in the long term as well as short with a sense of moderation.

Finally, your actions speak louder than your words. When you respect your word (whether thinking to yourself or talking aloud) and follow through with your actions, you build a sense of trust within yourself that helps you become stronger, more determined and more you. This holiday season, look inside to find the wisest part of you for the answers of what you want to accomplish this next year.

If you need any additional support learning how to become more authentically you, and have the healthier, happier life you always wanted, our counselors are available to help. Call us today at 240-274-5680 or email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com for a free consultation.  

Giving Thanks and Self Care this Holiday Season

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.” ~ Henry Van Dyke

Each year, Thanksgiving Day reminds us to take a moment to note the things and people in our lives for which we are grateful. While we may feel gratitude for those people or things we already have in our lives, sometimes it is not only difficult to acknowledge and embrace those feelings, but to truly appreciate that for which we are thankful as well.

Gratitude is the base from which appreciation grows. That means we can be grateful for something or someone in our lives without really appreciating it. The subtle shift from gratitude to appreciation involves being more thoughtfully aware and active in reflecting on the reasons we feel grateful about something or someone. Through present moment awareness, we begin to generate feelings of appreciation.

For example, we can be grateful for having a close friendship. However, we can go further and appreciate our friend’s beauty, intelligence, and sense of humor, as well as her thoughtfulness, trustworthiness and helpfulness. In this way, we move beyond thankfulness as we consciously recognize the value and significance that our friend adds to our lives.

The next step – expressing our appreciation or “giving thanks”, in the language of the season – is often the greatest challenge.

All too often we remain silent, not showing the people we love how thankful we are to have them in our lives. This is not necessarily for lack of good intentions. Life just gets in the way or we struggle to find the words. We forget to say a simple “thank you”, or write a heartfelt note of thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on these intentions. This is a time to ask oneself, “Am I thanking those who mean the most? Am I giving back a bit of what I have been given?” But even if we lack the ways to express our appreciation, simply bringing to mind our thankfulness and appreciation will make us feel brighter, lighter, happier, more inspired, energized, and loved this holiday season.

For more help feeling good this holiday season, counseling can help. Call or email us today for an appointment at 240-274-5680 or AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC - Counseling Center for Women and Families

What to do when the holidays suck.

This is a wonderful article posted by a fellow therapist about taking care of yourself this holiday season - it was too good not to pass along. So, if you ever find yourself less than jolly during the holiday season, read on...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year (insert holiday tunes here)… unless you have experienced loss, trauma, neglect, moved suddenly, lost a job, separated, or divorced, experienced physical illness, volatile behaviors of a family member, substance abusing behaviors of a loved one, or mental illness.

So what happens when you or your child experiences losses and changes beyond your control and the holiday season arrives? Everyone appears so jolly and excited, and your experiences have left you feeling like you want to curl up and hibernate through the holiday season.

Here are 7 ways to honor yourself and help your child transition through difficult times during the holidays:

1. Allow yourself to express your feelings- You may feel like you don’t want to be a downer at the holiday party when people ask you how you’re doing, so you put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay, and reply “I’m fine”. Yes, opening up your emotional floodgates at a party may not be the best way to communicate your feelings; however, you can honor yourself, and your feelings and let others know “it’s been a difficult time”. Model this behavior with your children, so they know that they don’t have to mask their feelings and pretend to be happy in order to make others feel okay.

2. Listen to yourself- Take time to hear and listen to what you need. That may mean saying no thank you to invitations and spending an evening at home reading a book. You may need to quite down the busyness in order to hear what you need. You can use the art making process to ask yourself what you need right now, and then allow yourself to express that through the art. Art making can help your child to become quite and connect with their inner voice so they can honor their needs too.

3. Find ways to honor your loss- Put together a photo album honoring memories, create a memory box, use glass paint and paint a glass candleholder in honor of your experiences. Take time to be with your feelings and help your child find ways to honor and express their grief and loss.

4. Create a new story- Grief and losses often involve letting go of how things used to be. Take the time to acknowledge and honor what was, and then look at how you choose to create a new story. Get creative with a blank journal or art paper and create images and words of what you are welcoming into your life.

5. Seek out support- Being alone in your pain often amplifies the feelings of being disconnected and unsupported. Find close friends, support groups, or a therapist to help you during difficult times. You will go through a period of “new normal” where things will never be as they were before; surrounding yourself with support will help you and your child navigate this transition.

6. Let go of other people’s stuff- When you are honest with your feelings or when problems arise in your home good intentioned family and friends may jump in to offer unsolicited advice or comments. Realize that their response is their stuff; perhaps they feel uncomfortable, or they want you to feel better, and move on, or they want to fix it. Thank them for their concern, and let them know what you need, “sometimes I just need talk things through, or someone to just listen, or I just need to express that I feel upset”. If they are unable to support you in the way you would like or continue to give unsolicited advice let them know how you feel and seek out support from those who will respect your process.

7. Be gentle with yourself- You may want to push through the pain or you may become overly critical of yourself and others. Model being kind with yourself and teach your children to be compassionate with their own feelings and behaviors, this will be a life-long gift you will share with your child.

If you want help getting through the holiday season, and are interested in finding out more information about talking to a counselor, contact us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or by phone 240-274-5680. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com for details.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper
Director, Another Look at Healing, Counseling and Wellness Center

Article By:
Dr. Laura Dessauer’s mission is to teach children, parents, and professionals creative ways to connect and communicate with respect and compassion, so children feel happier and more confident. As the founder of the Creativity Queen, LLC, Laura’s a Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist offering individual and family art therapy sessions and professional trainings. Visit www.thecreativityqueen.com to receive your free audio mini-course Secrets Your Kids Really Don’t Want You to Know: A Child Art Therapist Tells All (*except for the confidential stuff)
© 2011 Laura Dessauer, Creativity Queen LLC

Thanksgiving Tips – Food for Thought!

Each year, we look at why the holiday season is such a difficult time for many people. A few of the reasons we over viewed were: Family Time, including the in-laws, Traveling Issues, Long To Do Lists and of course Holiday Meals. In this blog, we will look more specifically into a few of these topics and discuss some specific steps to help relieve holiday stress.

“I always overeat during the holidays, how can I stop?"

1. Mindfulness! During the meal, be present and pay attention to yourself.
Are you filling your plate to the brim just because that’s what everyone else does? Are you drinking alcohol to “loosen up”, if so, identify what is making you feel uncomfortable and address it directly. Are you actually tasting each bite, or just the first few and then you slip into robotic eating mode? Do you eat to quickly to even give yourself time to feel full?

2. Treat Yourself! Allow yourself permission to feel good both before and after the meal. If you always end up feeling so stuffed it is painfully uncomfortable, or you feel guilty afterwards, treat yourself to the gift of feeling good. Know that you can eat a wonderful meal, and even have dessert without completely filling yourself until you want to pop! Take less food – you can always go back for seconds if you are still hungry. You earned the right to feel good.

3. Enjoy Nature! Take a Walk. After the meal, get the family together or a special relative to take a walk with. This will give you some time to talk, get some fresh air, use your muscles and energize.

4. Match Making! If you feel like eating cassarole, don’t eat salad and expect to feel satisfied. If you want a slice of pie, don’t restrict yourself from doing so or you could end up eating the whole pie 2 hours later! It helps to check in with yourself and your body to see what you are hungry for – does your body feel like it needs carbs, protein, sweets? If you eat what your body wants you to eat – make matches between what you want and what you have – then you are more likely to feel satisfied after each meal.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Meanwhile, I would LOVE to hear your feedback! Send an email to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com with any questions or comments, and let me know what helps you de-stress over the holiday season. All communication will remain confidential. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/therapywork for details.

Thanks for checking in!
–Amy L. Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Why are the holidays so stressful?

The Holiday Season can be a joyful time for many. For other's, this time of year can be extremely difficult. If you are interested in enjoying this holiday season and learning some tecniques to help you do so, read on...
We are now in the middle of the Holiday Season. How are you feeling? For many, this time of year is filled with love and joy, and at times some stress; for others, this can be one of the most difficult and lonely times of the year. Why is this time of year so wonderful for many people while it is such a challenge for others? Let’s take a look at the top three reasons…

Holiday Difficulties:

1. Family Time: Spending time with family can be stressful or not having family to spend time with can be lonely.
2. High cost of gifts, traveling and time off of work.
3. The emphasis on food. What you eat, when you eat, why you eat.

Holiday Delights:

1. Family Time: Many loved ones including family and friends have gatherings and spend time together.
2. Giving to others, Going on Adventures around the country (or world) to see family and friends and a break from work, time off to rejuvenate and refresh.
3. The delicious food and the traditions associated with it.

Let’s take a look at each of these issues, both pros and cons in detail in the next blog post with some specific steps to help relieve holiday difficulties.
We are excited to let you know about a couple of events coming up including a Stress & Anxiety Relief Workshop on January 22nd and a new psychotherapy group we are starting for people who want to work on their interpersonal and assertiveness skills. If you are interested in either of these events, or would like to set up a free phone consultation, call us today at 240-274-5680. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/aboutus for details.

Holiday Survival Guide (Part III) - How to survive feelings of loneliness this holiday season?

Over the last few blog posts, we looked at why the holiday season is such a difficult time for many people. One of the most challenging parts of the holidays is that it can be a very lonely time for many people. Let’s take a look at why that is, and what can be done about it.

In this day and age, families are more spread out, more distant, and busier than ever. For many, not having family to celebrate with is difficult. Others may be single at this time, and not want to participate in holiday activities because they don’t have a partner to go with them. Meanwhile, many people do have family or friends around them, but they still feel very alone due to strained relationships or personal issues that can interfere with their enjoyment such as depression or anxiety.

What can you do when you are feeling lonely this holiday season, or throughout the year?

1. Stay connected. Invite friends to your home. It can be your single women friends, a few friends from work, or more of your acquaintances that you want to get to know better. Or, call an old friend you haven’t spoken to for a while. Talk more with your coworkers instead of rushing them out of your office. If you want to feel more connected to people this holiday season, offer to connect with them!
2. Take care of you. Treat yourself to a holiday gift, perhaps a stress relieving massage, guitar lessons, or a vacation to somewhere you have never been before. By eating right, exercising, and taking care of yourself this holiday season, you will be more likely to feel good about your self and where you are in your life.
3. Know you are not alone. During the holidays, many people share these same feelings of loneliness, isolation, sadness, confusion. It is important to understand that you are not the only one having these feelings so spend time talking to others who you think share some of the same feelings. Understand that movies and television portray the holidays and family lifestyles that are not as realistic as they may seem. In talking with others, you might be surprised by how many people feel the same way you do.
4. Appreciate what you do have. Change your focus to the wonderful things you do have in your life. It’s OK to take a friend to a holiday party or go alone, be grateful that you were invited. May be your aunt Jane’s sarcastic remarks are the only way she knows how to share her feelings, and that she really does love you.
5. Give To Others. Volunteer at a local homeless shelter or in an elementary school or nursing home. Make cookies or cards and send them out to those who are less fortunate than you. Connecting with people who give, and giving to others will allow you to be part of something larger than yourself, and to be sharing your love and your self with others who feel lonely this holiday season.

I would LOVE to hear your feedback! Send an email to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com with any questions or comments. All communication will remain confidential.

Thanks for checking in!
–Amy L. Hooper, LGSW
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC