Building Self-Esteem

To some degree, we all face doubts and struggle at times with self-esteem. Thinking about improving your own self-esteem can seem daunting, overwhelming, and raise many other feelings, possibly even related to how you feel about yourself. While working with a therapist to understand how you feel about yourself and how you may have arrived to feel this way there are certain things you can do to help yourself along this healing journey. Below are some ways you can practice turning your self esteem toward a more positive direction.

Practice positive self talk. It is easy to talk critically to yourself, so instead try challenging a thought to a turn it into something more positive.

Try not to compare yourself to others.

Reflect on the accomplishments or times in your life you feel good about.

Get some physical exercise-  its quite empowering and reaps various physical and emotional benefits.

Set a small goal and achieve it. 

Don't beat yourself up: Talk to yourself as you would to a friend.

Focus on the things you can change/control, such as your reaction to certain experiences/events.

Spend time doing activities and things you enjoy.

Practice being in the moment, even for just a few breaths, or minutes.

Take care of you, you are the only one who truly can.

See if you can start with trying out one or two of the above self esteem building activities and check in with yourself about how you may feel. Small steps can lead to great gains to your self worth. If you find yourself struggling with self esteem or are thinking about how a therapist may be able to help you, contact us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center. You may reach us at healingllc.com, 240-274-5680, or admin@healingllc.com.

Exercise and Mental Health

It is no secret that physical exercise is so important for the health of your body. What may be more surprising are the benefits of exercise to your mental health and overall well-being. There are significant ways exercise supports mental health! You have likely heard of the "runner's high", the endorphins (the feel good chemicals) that get released during exercise and other physical activity. Beyond the endorphin release are multiple other reasons to lace up your sneakers and take a walk, or head to the gym. Some of these include:

-Taking the time out for yourself: When else do you make time just for YOU? 

-Making yourself a priority (body and mind).

-Physical activity allows you to focus on the task at hand, and practice being in the moment. A chance to put aside the to-do list/worries/concerns temporarily. 

-You get the opportunity to try new workouts and change it up if you get bored of the latest one. For example, if you are tired from running try a spinning class, yoga, interval training, or any other activity that keeps you moving, motivated and stimulated.

-Challenging yourself-ever thought about rock climbing, trapezeing, or signing up for a 5k run? There may be physical activities that sound intimidating if they are new, but it also allows you the chance to try out something different. By pushing yourself outside your comfort zone you may experience a confidence boost as well.

-Fun-if you prefer to walk with a friend, or join a club sports team it is a great chance to catch up and/or meet new friends and connect while doing your body and mind some good.

-Control-We certainly do not have control over some parts of life, but we can control what we decide to do with our bodies. By keeping a structured time to exercise your muscles allows you to have a little bit of what you can control while perhaps keeping some anxiety at ease.

-Chance to modify-Physical injuries, disabilities or limitations do not necessarily have to keep you from being active; you may need to modify what you had been doing for example, if you were running 3 times per week and developed a foot injury you may need to explore other options such as swimming or bike riding to alleviate pressure on a certain body part while continuing to achieve the benefits of regular exercise.

While it seems easy to come up with an excuse not to exercise, see if you can find a reason TO make that time for yourself.  If starting a new or different exercise routine it is encouraged to check with your physician first. If you are thinking about making some changes in your lifestyle and would like to explore this further with one of our therapists, contact us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center at admin@healingllc.com or 240-274-5680 or visit our website at www.healingllc.com.

Self-Care

Self Care seems to be all the buzz these days. Do you know what it really means?   Further more, what it means to you and what self-care looks like for you. Self-care is literally that; intentionally taking care of ones-self. It is giving yourself the time, love, and attention to nourish your mind, body, and soul. 

A busy mom is a good example of someone who might need a reminder to care for herself. "I don't have time" is a common reason people cite for not engaging in self care behaviors; though what some might not realize is self care can be simple and not necessarily a time guzzler. The last thing anyone seems to need these days is more on his/her plate and added stress. Taking good care of yourself may mean adding a small bit of time to your daily routine, but time spent that you will likely feel throughout the day/week.   Examples of self care include: taking a 10 minute bubble bath; 3 minute breathing exercises; 5 minute daily meditation. Other examples might be: taking a walk each morning; doing yoga a few times per week; scheduling time for a professional massage, leaving work on time to make a healthy dinner for yourself; committing to regular therapy sessions; listening to soothing music or reading a book; scheduling time away (even if for a few hours) with yourself, family, or friends. 

The mom above might wonder how she will make that time happen...But the bigger question is if she doesn't take care of herself, who will and if she doesn't have a self care practice, what is the consequence to her and her family? Is she more irritable, feeling overwhelmed, emotionally and physically exhausted.)  Self-care really is a "return on your investment" It truly is taking good care of yourself to feel like a better YOU, for you and your loved ones. 

How do you take care of yourself? If you do not currently have a routine practice of self care, can you think of what you might like to implement?

If you'd like to discuss this further to see if a professional therapist could be helpful, contact us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center, at 240-274-5680 or admin@HealingLLC.com. Or you can visit our website for more information at www.HealingLLC.com.

Stress Management for Easing into Fall...

Here are a few tips for easing into Fall this year:

- Make plans: plan a trip or a walk, something to look forward to on the calendar.
- Be in the moment: be spontaneous and have an outdoor picnic or take a day trip.
- Embrace the change of season: take a walk on a cooler evening or go apple picking.
- You get to choose your attitude towards the shifting seasons: choose to enjoy the good parts (cozy sweaters and hot apple cider).

Feeling more down than usual or other changes in your mood and typical behavior can be difficult to change on your own. So, get support and make sure you discuss this further with a therapist to help get you on a health track this Fall.

For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com or contact us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or 240-274-5680.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP, Director & Psychotherapist and
Jill Gordon, LCSW-C, Psychotherapist

Guide to Ending Back to School Stress!

This is a wonderful article I read on www.medicinenet.com that is applicable to this back to school season. See below:

Eight Immediate Stress-Busters

Medical Author: Melissa Conrad Stoppler, MD
Medical Editor: Jay W. Marks, MD

Most of our lives are filled with family, work, and community obligations, and at some point we feel as though we are "running on empty." Here are eight immediate stress busters to help "fill up the tank!" So take deep relaxing breath and read on.

Watch for the next instance in which you find yourself becoming annoyed or angry at something trivial or unimportant. Then practice letting go, making a conscious choice not to become angry or upset. Do not allow yourself to waste thought and energy where it isn't deserved. Effective anger management is a tried-and-true stress reducer.
Breathe slowly and deeply. Before reacting to the next stressful occurrence, take three deep breaths and release them slowly. If you have a few minutes, try out a relaxation technique such as meditation or guided imagery.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress, practice speaking more slowly than usual. You'll find that you think more clearly and react more reasonably to stressful situations. Stressed people tend to speak fast and breathlessly; by slowing down your speech you'll also appear less anxious and more in control of any situation.
Jump-start an effective time management strategy. Choose one simple thing you have been putting off (e.g., returning a phone call, making a doctor's appointment), and do it immediately. Just taking care of one nagging responsibility can be energizing and can improve your attitude.
Get outdoors for a brief break. Our grandparents were right about the healing power of fresh air. Don't be deterred by foul weather or a full schedule. Even five minutes on a balcony or terrace can be rejuvenating.
Drink plenty of water and eat small, nutritious snacks. Hunger and dehydration, even before you're aware of them, can provoke aggressiveness and exacerbate feelings of anxiety and stress.
Do a quick posture check. Hold your head and shoulders upright and avoid stooping or slumping. Bad posture can lead to muscle tension, pain, and increased stress. If you're stuck at a desk most of the day, avoid repetitive strain injuries and sore muscles by making sure your workstation reflects good ergonomic design principles. There is information about ergonomics and healthy workstations to assure your station ismore ergonomically safe.
Plan something rewarding for the end of your stressful day, even if only a relaxing bath or half an hour with a good book. Put aside work, housekeeping or family concerns for a brief period before bedtime and allow yourself to fully relax. Don't spend this time planning tomorrow's schedule or doing chores you didn't get around to during the day. Remember that you need time to recharge and energize yourself. You'll be much better prepared to face another stressful day.

For extra help, feel free to visit our website at www.HealingLLC.com for more articles, or contact us at 240-274-5680 or AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com to set up an appointment for some counseling to help you through a difficult time.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

What to do when the holidays suck.

This is a wonderful article posted by a fellow therapist about taking care of yourself this holiday season - it was too good not to pass along. So, if you ever find yourself less than jolly during the holiday season, read on...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year (insert holiday tunes here)… unless you have experienced loss, trauma, neglect, moved suddenly, lost a job, separated, or divorced, experienced physical illness, volatile behaviors of a family member, substance abusing behaviors of a loved one, or mental illness.

So what happens when you or your child experiences losses and changes beyond your control and the holiday season arrives? Everyone appears so jolly and excited, and your experiences have left you feeling like you want to curl up and hibernate through the holiday season.

Here are 7 ways to honor yourself and help your child transition through difficult times during the holidays:

1. Allow yourself to express your feelings- You may feel like you don’t want to be a downer at the holiday party when people ask you how you’re doing, so you put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay, and reply “I’m fine”. Yes, opening up your emotional floodgates at a party may not be the best way to communicate your feelings; however, you can honor yourself, and your feelings and let others know “it’s been a difficult time”. Model this behavior with your children, so they know that they don’t have to mask their feelings and pretend to be happy in order to make others feel okay.

2. Listen to yourself- Take time to hear and listen to what you need. That may mean saying no thank you to invitations and spending an evening at home reading a book. You may need to quite down the busyness in order to hear what you need. You can use the art making process to ask yourself what you need right now, and then allow yourself to express that through the art. Art making can help your child to become quite and connect with their inner voice so they can honor their needs too.

3. Find ways to honor your loss- Put together a photo album honoring memories, create a memory box, use glass paint and paint a glass candleholder in honor of your experiences. Take time to be with your feelings and help your child find ways to honor and express their grief and loss.

4. Create a new story- Grief and losses often involve letting go of how things used to be. Take the time to acknowledge and honor what was, and then look at how you choose to create a new story. Get creative with a blank journal or art paper and create images and words of what you are welcoming into your life.

5. Seek out support- Being alone in your pain often amplifies the feelings of being disconnected and unsupported. Find close friends, support groups, or a therapist to help you during difficult times. You will go through a period of “new normal” where things will never be as they were before; surrounding yourself with support will help you and your child navigate this transition.

6. Let go of other people’s stuff- When you are honest with your feelings or when problems arise in your home good intentioned family and friends may jump in to offer unsolicited advice or comments. Realize that their response is their stuff; perhaps they feel uncomfortable, or they want you to feel better, and move on, or they want to fix it. Thank them for their concern, and let them know what you need, “sometimes I just need talk things through, or someone to just listen, or I just need to express that I feel upset”. If they are unable to support you in the way you would like or continue to give unsolicited advice let them know how you feel and seek out support from those who will respect your process.

7. Be gentle with yourself- You may want to push through the pain or you may become overly critical of yourself and others. Model being kind with yourself and teach your children to be compassionate with their own feelings and behaviors, this will be a life-long gift you will share with your child.

If you want help getting through the holiday season, and are interested in finding out more information about talking to a counselor, contact us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or by phone 240-274-5680. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com for details.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper
Director, Another Look at Healing, Counseling and Wellness Center

Article By:
Dr. Laura Dessauer’s mission is to teach children, parents, and professionals creative ways to connect and communicate with respect and compassion, so children feel happier and more confident. As the founder of the Creativity Queen, LLC, Laura’s a Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist offering individual and family art therapy sessions and professional trainings. Visit www.thecreativityqueen.com to receive your free audio mini-course Secrets Your Kids Really Don’t Want You to Know: A Child Art Therapist Tells All (*except for the confidential stuff)
© 2011 Laura Dessauer, Creativity Queen LLC

Women's Rights

For the third part of our Women's Wellness Series, here is a list of women’s forgotten rights. These are reminders of what you are entitled to as a women and as a person. Many of these basic rights are often forgotten, so be sure you remind yourself, your female friends and family of what they can have. The final part of the series will include inspiring words for women.
Please share this information with the women in your life.

1. You have the right to be happy.
2. You have the right to know your worth and feel good about yourself.
3. You have the right to love your body will all of its so called "imperfections".
4. You have the right to say no. To anything.
5. You have the right to take good care of yourself.
6. You have the right to stop feeling guilty for the past and start living in the moment.
7. You have the right to have wants and needs.
8. You have the right to ask for help and get support whenever you need it.
9. You have the right to feel beautiful, loved and truly amazing.
10. You have the right to know your rights, no matter what other people say.

I would love to hear from you! Please write in with any comments or questions about women's wellness issues. All information will remain confidential if emailed to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com. Thanks for checking in!

Take Good Care,
Amy L. Hooper
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Women's Wellness Series

The next series of blogs will be focused on women's wellness issues. Women are precious, unique beings and should be treated as such. Women's issues are common, complicated and can be eased through education and self-exploration. Please share this information with the women in your life so they can start feeling better today.

The series will begin with a quiz, then move onto tips and inspiring words for women. In this Blog, we will take a quiz to see where you are on your own priority list.

Quiz: Are you on your own priority list?

1. Are you frequently putting others first; taking care of them before taking care of yourself?
2. Do you feel exhausted and depleted at the end of the day, with no energy left for you?
3. Are you feeling anxious, sad or just not happy? Are you worried you will feel like this forever?
4. Can you remember the last time you did something nice for yourself (and didn't feel guilty about it)?
5. Are you aware of and confident of your inner and outer beauty?
6. As a woman, do you know what your needs are and how to get them met?

If you have answered yes to questions 1,2 or 3 or answered no to questions 4, 5 or 6, it is time to take a look inside and make taking care of yourself a priority. Stay tuned for our next blog including information and tips for women who have trouble thinking about their own thoughts and feelings before others.

I would love to hear from you! Please write in with any comments/questions about women's wellness issues. All information will remain confidential if emailed to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com. Thanks for checking in!

Take Good Care,
Amy L. Hooper
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Holiday Survival Guide (Part III) - How to survive feelings of loneliness this holiday season?

Over the last few blog posts, we looked at why the holiday season is such a difficult time for many people. One of the most challenging parts of the holidays is that it can be a very lonely time for many people. Let’s take a look at why that is, and what can be done about it.

In this day and age, families are more spread out, more distant, and busier than ever. For many, not having family to celebrate with is difficult. Others may be single at this time, and not want to participate in holiday activities because they don’t have a partner to go with them. Meanwhile, many people do have family or friends around them, but they still feel very alone due to strained relationships or personal issues that can interfere with their enjoyment such as depression or anxiety.

What can you do when you are feeling lonely this holiday season, or throughout the year?

1. Stay connected. Invite friends to your home. It can be your single women friends, a few friends from work, or more of your acquaintances that you want to get to know better. Or, call an old friend you haven’t spoken to for a while. Talk more with your coworkers instead of rushing them out of your office. If you want to feel more connected to people this holiday season, offer to connect with them!
2. Take care of you. Treat yourself to a holiday gift, perhaps a stress relieving massage, guitar lessons, or a vacation to somewhere you have never been before. By eating right, exercising, and taking care of yourself this holiday season, you will be more likely to feel good about your self and where you are in your life.
3. Know you are not alone. During the holidays, many people share these same feelings of loneliness, isolation, sadness, confusion. It is important to understand that you are not the only one having these feelings so spend time talking to others who you think share some of the same feelings. Understand that movies and television portray the holidays and family lifestyles that are not as realistic as they may seem. In talking with others, you might be surprised by how many people feel the same way you do.
4. Appreciate what you do have. Change your focus to the wonderful things you do have in your life. It’s OK to take a friend to a holiday party or go alone, be grateful that you were invited. May be your aunt Jane’s sarcastic remarks are the only way she knows how to share her feelings, and that she really does love you.
5. Give To Others. Volunteer at a local homeless shelter or in an elementary school or nursing home. Make cookies or cards and send them out to those who are less fortunate than you. Connecting with people who give, and giving to others will allow you to be part of something larger than yourself, and to be sharing your love and your self with others who feel lonely this holiday season.

I would LOVE to hear your feedback! Send an email to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com with any questions or comments. All communication will remain confidential.

Thanks for checking in!
–Amy L. Hooper, LGSW
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Holiday Survival Guide (Part II) - What can you do to not only survive, but thrive during this holiday season?

Last month, we looked at why the holiday season is such a difficult time for many people. A few of the reasons we overviewed were: Time with family, The In laws, Traveling Issues and of course Holiday Meals. In this blog, we will look more specifically into a few of these topics and discuss some specific steps to help relieve holiday stress. We will be answering the questions many of you wrote in about your particular holiday stressors.

“I always overeat during the holidays, how can I stop?"
1. Be Present! During the meal, pay attention to yourself.
Are you filling your plate to the brim just because that’s what everyone else does? Are you drinking alcohol to “loosen up”, if so, identify what is making you feel uncomfortable and address it directly. Are you actually tasting each bite, or just the first few and then you slip into robotic eating mode? Do you eat to quickly to even give yourself time to feel full?
2. Treat Yourself! Allow yourself permission to feel good both before and after the meal. If you always end up feeling so stuffed it is painfully uncomfortable, or you feel guilty afterwards, treat yourself to the gift of feeling good. Know that you can eat a wonderful meal, and even have dessert without completely filling yourself until you want to pop! Take less food – you can always go back for seconds if you are still hungry. You earned the right to feel good.
3. Enjoy Nature! Take a Walk. After the meal, get the family together or a special relative to take a walk with. This will give you some time to talk, get some fresh air, use your muscles and energize.

“I spend so much time cooking and cleaning, by the time my family arrives, I’m exhausted, but I don’t know what else to do!”
1. Plan! What has been the most stressful in the past? Once you figure that out – decide how to best handle this situation again when it comes up again.
2. Simplify! What activities are the MOST important to you? Is it family dinner, gift exchange, sending cards, shopping? Think about if the activity’s hassle and difficulties are outweighed by the positive emotional results. If you are a visual person, write it out on paper to help you decide. Then pick a few tasks and really take the time to enjoy them.
3. No More Worrying! Often we are too busy doing everything that we are not enjoying doing anything! Live in the moment – stop and time the time to enjoy yourself, which means not worrying about preparing for the next activity and not worrying about previous mishaps from earlier in the day. Be Present in the here and now.
4. Stop Overdoing It! Scale down on everything; it will make life much easier. Instead of sending holiday cards, send e-cards or instead of making 5 different side dishes, make only one or have guests bring the sides.

It is easy to lose sight of what’s important when you have your plate full (literally and figuratively) with holiday planning and prepping. Let’s not forget what the holidays are really about - time for gratitude, love (for self and others), family and giving.

More tips to come in December for Holiday Survival Part III! Meanwhile, I would LOVE to hear your feedback! Send an email to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com with any questions or comments, and let me know what helps you de-stress over the holiday season. All communication will remain confidential.

Thanks for checking in!
–Amy L. Hooper, LGSW
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Holiday Survival Guide (Part I) - Why are the holidays so stressful?

It is now autumn and with the chilling of the air comes one of the most difficult times of the year for many people. The holiday season. Thanksgiving will be here before you know it, then Chanukah and Christmas swiftly followed by New Year’s. But why is this time of year such a challenge for so many people? Let’s take a look at a few reasons…

1. Spending time (or not spending time) with your own family can be stressful.
- Do you turn back into your teenage self? Do your parents try to parent you like you're a child?
- Do you act a certain way around your family that is not the real you?

2. Spending time (or not spending time) with your in-law’s can be extremely difficult.
- Are there certain expectations?
- Do you feel judged?
- How do you decide how much time to spend with each family?

3. Travel is getting more difficult each year.
- Delayed flights.
- More cars on the road means tons of traffic.

4. Food. What you eat, when you eat, why you eat.
- Do you have eating issues that are exacerbated by being with family?
- Does it seem like the most important part of the holiday to your family, is food?


I would love to hear your feedback! Send me an email (AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com) with a question about what to do about your holidays situation. Or let me know what makes the holiday season difficult for you or the people around you. All communication will remain confidential.

Stay tuned for Part II where we will address “What can you do to not only survive, but thrive during this holiday season”.

Take Good Care,

–Amy L. Hooper, LGSW
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Overworked, Under Appreciated and Stressed Out at Work?

Managing work-related stress can be particularly challenging – especially during tough economic times…

With so much downsizing and “reorganizing”, the workplace is changing and becoming more stressful than ever before. Whether you were laid off, or still working, but doing the work for the people who were laid off – managing work stressors are particularly difficult. This article will examine what work related stress looks like and what can be done to help alleviate the stress.

Work related stress affects both your professional and personal life. Work stress can spill over and affect your family at home just the same as family stress can spill over and affect your actions at work. Have you ever come home from a stressful day on the job and raised your voice at a spouse, your client or a friend when they haven’t done anything wrong? This can happen when we don’t recognize how work stress affects us and learn what we can do about it.

The following are examples of how work stress can affect you as an employee:
1. Decreased Productivity
2. Increased Absences due to illness, anxiety or fatigue
3. Decreased Attention Span/Focus
4. Increased Interpersonal Issues (fighting with boss/coworkers)
5. Tardiness

Here are examples of how work stress can affect your family and home life:
1. Increased negativity and pessimism
2. Decreased Positive Communication
3. Moodiness
4. Decreased Patience
5. Increased Fighting

So, what can we do about it? Following are some steps to take control of your work stress and get your life back in balance.

1. Separate your work and home life by setting up a boundary between them.
a. For example, you can change your cloths when you get home, or listen to calming music, or even journal about your day. Then, after your activity, recognize that work is over and family time has started. Having a specific behavior or activity can help you to put the workday behind you so you can focus on your life.
b. Turn off your work phone and email when you get home. Do not check your work phone or email until you get to work the next day. This way, you are not inviting work into your home.

2. Take care of yourself.
a. Find a hobby or activity you like to do. Playing soccer or joining a women’s group can help fill your life with meaningful, fun activities. This way, you are more than your job.
b. Talk to others when you are feeling particularly stressed. Be open about your feelings and do not bottle them up inside – or they will explode at a time when you do not want them to.

3. Use Humor – carefully.
a. Using humor can increase moral and a feeling of cohesion both at work and at home. It can also increase positive communication.
b. Smiling and laughing actually releases “feel good” chemicals in your brain that will help lift your mood if you are having a tough day.
*note* Humor can exclude and alienate if not used with caution.

4. Improve Your Time Management
a. Get Organized! If you need help, ask a friend or coworker to help you organize your workspace and your priorities. You will find yourself becoming more time efficient the more organized you are.
b. Take short breaks throughout the day – that way you are refreshed when you are working and use your time productively.
c. Set a goal and a plan for working towards them. This way you are working smarter, not harder.
d. Practice deep breathing or another relaxation technique if you find yourself overwhelmed with stress and anxiety.

5. Get Help
a. If you need help at work – talk to your boss, find a mentor, or confide in a coworker who understands and can help you to work through them.
b. If you are having difficulties at home – talk about them with your family. Opening up lines of communication will promote understanding and can lead to positive change and acceptance.
c. If you are feeling overstressed with work and cannot find a way to manage the stress, or if you begin to feel anxiety or depression that interferes with your life, call a counselor, therapist or coach in your area for help.