Building Self-Esteem

To some degree, we all face doubts and struggle at times with self-esteem. Thinking about improving your own self-esteem can seem daunting, overwhelming, and raise many other feelings, possibly even related to how you feel about yourself. While working with a therapist to understand how you feel about yourself and how you may have arrived to feel this way there are certain things you can do to help yourself along this healing journey. Below are some ways you can practice turning your self esteem toward a more positive direction.

Practice positive self talk. It is easy to talk critically to yourself, so instead try challenging a thought to a turn it into something more positive.

Try not to compare yourself to others.

Reflect on the accomplishments or times in your life you feel good about.

Get some physical exercise-  its quite empowering and reaps various physical and emotional benefits.

Set a small goal and achieve it. 

Don't beat yourself up: Talk to yourself as you would to a friend.

Focus on the things you can change/control, such as your reaction to certain experiences/events.

Spend time doing activities and things you enjoy.

Practice being in the moment, even for just a few breaths, or minutes.

Take care of you, you are the only one who truly can.

See if you can start with trying out one or two of the above self esteem building activities and check in with yourself about how you may feel. Small steps can lead to great gains to your self worth. If you find yourself struggling with self esteem or are thinking about how a therapist may be able to help you, contact us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center. You may reach us at healingllc.com, 240-274-5680, or admin@healingllc.com.

Exercise and Mental Health

It is no secret that physical exercise is so important for the health of your body. What may be more surprising are the benefits of exercise to your mental health and overall well-being. There are significant ways exercise supports mental health! You have likely heard of the "runner's high", the endorphins (the feel good chemicals) that get released during exercise and other physical activity. Beyond the endorphin release are multiple other reasons to lace up your sneakers and take a walk, or head to the gym. Some of these include:

-Taking the time out for yourself: When else do you make time just for YOU? 

-Making yourself a priority (body and mind).

-Physical activity allows you to focus on the task at hand, and practice being in the moment. A chance to put aside the to-do list/worries/concerns temporarily. 

-You get the opportunity to try new workouts and change it up if you get bored of the latest one. For example, if you are tired from running try a spinning class, yoga, interval training, or any other activity that keeps you moving, motivated and stimulated.

-Challenging yourself-ever thought about rock climbing, trapezeing, or signing up for a 5k run? There may be physical activities that sound intimidating if they are new, but it also allows you the chance to try out something different. By pushing yourself outside your comfort zone you may experience a confidence boost as well.

-Fun-if you prefer to walk with a friend, or join a club sports team it is a great chance to catch up and/or meet new friends and connect while doing your body and mind some good.

-Control-We certainly do not have control over some parts of life, but we can control what we decide to do with our bodies. By keeping a structured time to exercise your muscles allows you to have a little bit of what you can control while perhaps keeping some anxiety at ease.

-Chance to modify-Physical injuries, disabilities or limitations do not necessarily have to keep you from being active; you may need to modify what you had been doing for example, if you were running 3 times per week and developed a foot injury you may need to explore other options such as swimming or bike riding to alleviate pressure on a certain body part while continuing to achieve the benefits of regular exercise.

While it seems easy to come up with an excuse not to exercise, see if you can find a reason TO make that time for yourself.  If starting a new or different exercise routine it is encouraged to check with your physician first. If you are thinking about making some changes in your lifestyle and would like to explore this further with one of our therapists, contact us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center at admin@healingllc.com or 240-274-5680 or visit our website at www.healingllc.com.

Self-Care

Self Care seems to be all the buzz these days. Do you know what it really means?   Further more, what it means to you and what self-care looks like for you. Self-care is literally that; intentionally taking care of ones-self. It is giving yourself the time, love, and attention to nourish your mind, body, and soul. 

A busy mom is a good example of someone who might need a reminder to care for herself. "I don't have time" is a common reason people cite for not engaging in self care behaviors; though what some might not realize is self care can be simple and not necessarily a time guzzler. The last thing anyone seems to need these days is more on his/her plate and added stress. Taking good care of yourself may mean adding a small bit of time to your daily routine, but time spent that you will likely feel throughout the day/week.   Examples of self care include: taking a 10 minute bubble bath; 3 minute breathing exercises; 5 minute daily meditation. Other examples might be: taking a walk each morning; doing yoga a few times per week; scheduling time for a professional massage, leaving work on time to make a healthy dinner for yourself; committing to regular therapy sessions; listening to soothing music or reading a book; scheduling time away (even if for a few hours) with yourself, family, or friends. 

The mom above might wonder how she will make that time happen...But the bigger question is if she doesn't take care of herself, who will and if she doesn't have a self care practice, what is the consequence to her and her family? Is she more irritable, feeling overwhelmed, emotionally and physically exhausted.)  Self-care really is a "return on your investment" It truly is taking good care of yourself to feel like a better YOU, for you and your loved ones. 

How do you take care of yourself? If you do not currently have a routine practice of self care, can you think of what you might like to implement?

If you'd like to discuss this further to see if a professional therapist could be helpful, contact us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center, at 240-274-5680 or admin@HealingLLC.com. Or you can visit our website for more information at www.HealingLLC.com.

Are you a Mind Reader? Do you wish people knew what you wanted?

The mind-reading fantasy

“He should just know how it makes me feel when he does that!”

“She should know what that look on my face means by now.”

The fantasy of mind-reading in our relationships is a real wish for many people. What is it? You know when you expect your partner, parent, or friend just knew what to do or say? Or wish she knew just what you wanted for your birthday without having to spell it out? Mind-reading is the idea that your significant other always knows just what you think/feel/want/need and how to respond accordingly. The reality is, without asking, you may not know what she wants, and without her telling you, you really may not know. What you think, and what actually is happening in an others thoughts just might be two different realities.

What this comes down to is the desire one has for another to anticipate and meet his/her own needs. Sounds pretty basic, right? Well it can be.  Mature, healthy adults are responsible for having our own needs met; oftentimes in the communication to and with our partner.

What can you do? Start by being more aware of this kind of thought process of mind reading.  Take a moment and try and take a more global picture of the situation and see if you could be jumping to conclusions based on a possible false belief. Instead of assuming you think you know, ask. Ask for clarification. Take the opportunity to learn what your loved one wants and needs from you.

Save the mind reading for the fortune tellers…

What to do when the holidays suck.

This is a wonderful article posted by a fellow therapist about taking care of yourself this holiday season - it was too good not to pass along. So, if you ever find yourself less than jolly during the holiday season, read on...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year (insert holiday tunes here)… unless you have experienced loss, trauma, neglect, moved suddenly, lost a job, separated, or divorced, experienced physical illness, volatile behaviors of a family member, substance abusing behaviors of a loved one, or mental illness.

So what happens when you or your child experiences losses and changes beyond your control and the holiday season arrives? Everyone appears so jolly and excited, and your experiences have left you feeling like you want to curl up and hibernate through the holiday season.

Here are 7 ways to honor yourself and help your child transition through difficult times during the holidays:

1. Allow yourself to express your feelings- You may feel like you don’t want to be a downer at the holiday party when people ask you how you’re doing, so you put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay, and reply “I’m fine”. Yes, opening up your emotional floodgates at a party may not be the best way to communicate your feelings; however, you can honor yourself, and your feelings and let others know “it’s been a difficult time”. Model this behavior with your children, so they know that they don’t have to mask their feelings and pretend to be happy in order to make others feel okay.

2. Listen to yourself- Take time to hear and listen to what you need. That may mean saying no thank you to invitations and spending an evening at home reading a book. You may need to quite down the busyness in order to hear what you need. You can use the art making process to ask yourself what you need right now, and then allow yourself to express that through the art. Art making can help your child to become quite and connect with their inner voice so they can honor their needs too.

3. Find ways to honor your loss- Put together a photo album honoring memories, create a memory box, use glass paint and paint a glass candleholder in honor of your experiences. Take time to be with your feelings and help your child find ways to honor and express their grief and loss.

4. Create a new story- Grief and losses often involve letting go of how things used to be. Take the time to acknowledge and honor what was, and then look at how you choose to create a new story. Get creative with a blank journal or art paper and create images and words of what you are welcoming into your life.

5. Seek out support- Being alone in your pain often amplifies the feelings of being disconnected and unsupported. Find close friends, support groups, or a therapist to help you during difficult times. You will go through a period of “new normal” where things will never be as they were before; surrounding yourself with support will help you and your child navigate this transition.

6. Let go of other people’s stuff- When you are honest with your feelings or when problems arise in your home good intentioned family and friends may jump in to offer unsolicited advice or comments. Realize that their response is their stuff; perhaps they feel uncomfortable, or they want you to feel better, and move on, or they want to fix it. Thank them for their concern, and let them know what you need, “sometimes I just need talk things through, or someone to just listen, or I just need to express that I feel upset”. If they are unable to support you in the way you would like or continue to give unsolicited advice let them know how you feel and seek out support from those who will respect your process.

7. Be gentle with yourself- You may want to push through the pain or you may become overly critical of yourself and others. Model being kind with yourself and teach your children to be compassionate with their own feelings and behaviors, this will be a life-long gift you will share with your child.

If you want help getting through the holiday season, and are interested in finding out more information about talking to a counselor, contact us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or by phone 240-274-5680. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com for details.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper
Director, Another Look at Healing, Counseling and Wellness Center

Article By:
Dr. Laura Dessauer’s mission is to teach children, parents, and professionals creative ways to connect and communicate with respect and compassion, so children feel happier and more confident. As the founder of the Creativity Queen, LLC, Laura’s a Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist offering individual and family art therapy sessions and professional trainings. Visit www.thecreativityqueen.com to receive your free audio mini-course Secrets Your Kids Really Don’t Want You to Know: A Child Art Therapist Tells All (*except for the confidential stuff)
© 2011 Laura Dessauer, Creativity Queen LLC