Feelings About Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is right around the corner! (Grunt, groan, tears, yippee). The feelings about Valentine's Day are mixed! Whether or not you have a significant other or not, everyone has his/her own feelings about the 14th of February, the day that we have come to recognize as a day of love.

I took an informal random poll of feelings about Valentine's Day, and here are some responses:

"I like it, excuse to eat extra treats!"

"I like the idea, hate the commercialism around it."

"How about making every day a valentine's day and bringing love all the time or even randomly. Why wait for one time a year to express your love for your significant other?"

Eye roll "it's kind of a fun excuse to eat chocolate and do and say something sweet for someone you love. I also love extending it to more than just a significant other. Galentine's are super fun too"

"As long as I get those chalky hearts, I am in!"

"Could take it or leave it. Too much meaning is attached to the day and people end up making themselves miserable if their expectation do not add up or if they are single."

"Waste of a day...hate it."

"Just another day for significant others to fail."

"Who doesn't love love, and chocolate? Even if single!"

The responses say it all: Valentine's Day brings up a lot of mixed feelings for individuals. It can be an awkward day at any stage of a relationship and even more uncomfortable if single. If you are in a relationship, it can be really helpful to talk with your partner about each other's expectations and feelings about the day in general. Perhaps you are quite happy to be on your own, or maybe you would rather be in a romantic relationship. What it really comes down to is how one feels loved and cared for. Gary Chapman has written several books on the languages of love. Everyone feels loved in different ways, including: acts of service, receiving gifts, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. Chapman's books and website can be helpful tools to understand yours and your partners ways of feeling loved. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ 

Whether you have a special someone to share the commercialized day of love with or you are solo, consider what you can do to show love to yourself and those you care about. Maybe you wish you had someone to buy you flowers or take you out for dinner. This year you may choose to practice loving yourself more and buy yourself flowers, candy, and/or treat yourself to a nice meal. Let Valentine's Day be a reminder to love yourself and those you care for each and every day.

If you would like to see how meeting with a counselor could be helpful for you around this time, reach out to us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center www.healingllc.com, admin@healingllc.com, or 240-274-5680.

What are you resolving to do this holiday season and in the new year?

Posted on December 30, 2015 by Mindful Decluttering and Organizing, LLC

Guest Post by Amy Hooper from Another Look at Healing

As each year comes to a close, we’re often compelled to think of our New Year’s resolutions – this year, I’m going to…“cut chocolate out of my diet and drink less soda,” “exercise more – maybe 3 times a week?” “read more books or join a book club," “do more of the things that I want to do, but never get around to doing,”… the list goes on.

These resolutions translate into the various components of life – relationships, financial stability, health (emotional, spiritual and physical), giving back to the world, having a meaning in life – all of which influence each of us differently, shape our experiences, and affect our overall well-being.

As this year nears its end and we look ahead to 2016, what if, instead of thinking about our resolutions, we challenge ourselves to view the different aspects of our lives as part of a broader journey toward greater personal growth?

If we ask ourselves questions such as: How can I be kinder to myself? How can I ask more for what I want and need? And how can I communicate my feelings with others more effectively? Then we’re thinking about the things in life that lead to healthier living. Taking the time to figure out these issues is no easy task, so we at Another Look at Healing, Counseling and Wellness Center would like to offer several tips to help you along your journey - so stay tuned for our next post!

If you would like some support in order to be kinder and more compassionate with yourself, counseling can help. You can visit our website www.HealingLLC.com or contact us at 240-274-5680 or Admin@HealingLLC.com with any questions or to schedule a counseling appointment.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP, Director, Gaithersburg Counseling Center

The Keys to Happiness - Learning to feel good about you!

What do you like about yourself!? This may be a challenging task at first, but start a file on what you like about yourself. Take your time writing it and as you write it think about what it feels like to write it. You may expand this list by writing down compliments people give you! Try to visit this file daily and read what you have, notice your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that arise while writing in the file and also while re-reading it.

Maybe these couple of exercises will help you feel more positive, grounded and balanced. Whether or not they are helpful, they might give you some insights or topics to discuss further with a counselor or trusted friend.  At Another Look at Healing, Counseling Center, we can help with this search for greater self-awareness and finding those strengths to help you feel happier and more fulfilled. For more information, you can email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or call us at 240-274-5680. Or for more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com.

Announcing: Free Phone Consultation!

We are now offering a free phone consultation! Also, special discounts are available for individual, couples and group counseling if you call us before March 25th to discuss setting up an appointment. Call today 240-274-5680.


Announcing: Personal Growth Group Openings! 
*Only 2 spaces left*

Are you feeling stuck and want to work out your issues?
Do you value self-reflection and want to find greater understanding of yourself?
Are you looking for support in changing your life for the better?

If you answered yes, consider participating in our personal growth group. A psychotherapy group is a safe, protected environment where you can learn about both who you are and how you are with others. By discussing issues and receiving feedback from the other group members you can learn to understand how you feel and how others react to you. This group is for people who are facing a range of concerns including: difficulty communicating, lack of interpersonal skills, trouble getting what you want out of life, loneliness, poor self-esteem and social anxiety.

For more information or to sign up for a pre-group interview to determine whether the group is right for you, please call or email us directly at 240-274-5680 or AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com and ask for a pre-group interview session with Lev Grotel.

If you have any comments or questions, please send them to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com.

If you are looking for support in making changes and growing the life you always wanted, feel free to contact us here at Another Look at Healing, LLC at 240-274-5680 or by emailing Admin@HealingLLC.com. Our website is www.HealingLLC.com for more details.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, Director & Dena Alalfey, Graduate Intern

Explore your Senses - Mindfulness leads to improved mood!

Oh those five senses that we take for granted! - When's the last time you noticed the unique color of the sky? Or that cool breeze brushing up against your face? When walking from your car to the office, while grocery shopping, or running errands, walk with your senses. Notice the temperature, the unique scents, the beautiful colors, the people around you and everything happening in the moment. Oh that's delicious! We need to eat to survive and everyday we're luck to have decadent food that we're eating rushed, in front of the television, or in just plain autopilot. Let's try to eat with our senses. In autopilot we tend to rush with everything, inhaling food at our desk or in front of the TV. Instead, pay attention to each bite, the texture, tastes and feelings that come up. Notice how much you enjoy that particular snack or meal! Yum!

Meditation and Mood!

Guided Meditation  Search Podcasts or YouTube for quick guided meditations. During breaks at work or any time you feel like you need to slow down, these will help you get in touch with your body. And of course there are apps for it! Check out Stop, Breathe & Think, calm, or mindfulness daily.

So many different moods! If you find yourself getting mad or upset about something, stop and examine your mood. Ask the question, if I were feeling good right now, would I see this the same way? This helps you question that thought that popped in your mind!

If you are looking for support in making changes and growing the life you always wanted, feel free to contact us here at Another Look at Healing, LLC at 240-274-5680 or by emailing Admin@HealingLLC.com. Our website is www.HealingLLC.com for more details.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, Director &

Dena Alalfey, Graduate Intern

Learn to Love Yourself - Practicing Mindfulness can help!

After spending so much time focusing on others (kids, deadlines etc.), it's time to turn our attention inward to love ourselves! Let's work on getting rid of those negative thoughts that lead to feelings of insecurity and doubt. According to Healthy Place, a mental health channel, "mindfulness resources are scientifically proven to calm down your mind and slow down routine thinking patterns that lead to insecurities and low esteem." We want to invite you to take a look at a few Mindfulness practices that will help you get started. Read on for more information...

Mindfulness exercises permit you to embody each experience as it is without judgment. We can let go of those negative thoughts and habituated behaviors with practice. In time, you’ll be able to see, feel, and explore your life without adding negative thoughts and insecurity to the narrative of your life story. You can let the past stay in the past and wait to worry about all the things that are on your future to do list. You can get off the autopilot living pattern and starting living in the NOW!

These simple practices put us in a calmer state of mind, so we can think more clearly and breathe easier. We are more focused and attentive to what is around us, which brings us more control over our bodies and our minds. By slowing down, we tend to have the opportunity to make better decisions and feel more confident in our choices. We also stop the emotional and psychological automatic thoughts and begin to create our new neural pathways to new ways of thinking. More positive ways of thinking and more realistic, in the moment, thoughts about ourselves and our world can emerge. Practicing mindfulness will not eliminate life’s obstacles. But, with practice, it can help us respond to them in a calmer, more effective manner. Once these skills are developed, the times that your insecurities would take over in the past, now become less intense. You begin to recognize these were habitual thoughts rather than facts or truths. Here's to letting your negative thoughts pass without distressing you and disrupting your day!CHEERS!

If you find yourself feeling more down or anxious than usual, let us know. It can be difficult to make life changes on your own, and you deserve support along the way. So, reach out if you would like to set up an appointment with one of our counselors. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com or contact us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or 240-274-5680 with any questions.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP, Director and Psychotherapist
Dena Alalfey, Graduate Intern
Another Look at Healing, LLC - Gaithersburg Counseling Center

Happy Holidays! Happy New Year!

Wishing you all a warm, wonderful and healthy holiday season and a happy new year!

If you are looking for support in making changes and growing the life you always wanted, feel free to contact us here at Another Look at Healing, LLC at 240-274-5680 or by emailing Admin@HealingLLC.com. Our website is www.HealingLLC.com for more details.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, Director &

Abbie Mortimer, Executive Assistant  

How To Improve Your Mood FAST by Changing Your Environment

Have you considered how your environment affects your mood?  Consider these factors as part of your overall emotional health:

Light:  If you are feeling down or sluggish, look around and see the lighting, are your curtains open?  Are your windows free of cobwebs and dust?  Could an outside tree be trimmed back to allow for more natural light?  See how it feels to allow more natural light into your living space.  

Fresh air:  Though the pollen is high this time of year, take some time for a short walk, sip some tea in a lawn chair and see who walks by--consider waving and greeting your neighbors.

Organization:  Tackling a cluttered space in your home can bring physical order which may also lead to a sense of calm and satisfaction within yourself.  Just start small… choose your dining room table or a drawer and try tidying up one area.  Step back and see how you feel.

“Green Space”:  All too often we wake up, get in our car or on the metro, walk in to a building to work, back to the car, and in our home.  Consider taking part of your lunch time for a ten minute stroll outside.  Pack a picnic to a local park with your family or plan a bike ride on one of the many trails in the area.  Sounds of nature and physical activity can be a piece to the puzzle of feeling better.  

Music: Music can prompt changes in mood.  For a practical example, take the common event of preparing dinner and having a family meal.  This time of day can seem daunting with small children under foot or children just home from school.  Tempers are short and hunger is setting in.  Try playing some fun, upbeat music or some silly childrens songs while giving each child an important task (taking silverware to the table, choosing cloth napkins and carefully folding them for each family member, or picking a few blooms off an outdoor plant to be placed in water as a centerpiece).  Observe how stress turns into a movement (dance even!), singing, and cooperativeness.  It may take a number of tries, but soon this can be a new habit for your home.

Keep a journal and see for yourself the concrete ways you have taken action to improve your emotional health.    

If these tasks seem too daunting or you are having trouble making changes on your own, consider exploring your mood and personal feelings with a therapist. Together, you can explore different areas of your life where you may wish to change.  For more information about the therapists at our center, contact us at 240-274-5680 or email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com with any questions or to get set up with an initial appointment.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP &

Abbie Mortimer, Executive Assistant

Another Look at Healing, LLC - Counseling Center for Women

How To Guide: Cultivate your Relationship this Spring

How to let your relationship grow this Spring...

Spring is officially here…. or so the calendar says it is!  Spring brings new life. The greys and browns of the earth turn to vibrant green and bloom with color. The grass emerges, the trees bud, the flowers bloom and almost as though a switch was flipped, our eyes are filled with the season’s telling of new potential and growth. Each year, relationships and marriages also deserve periods of growth and new life too.  Maybe your relationship feels dormant like the winter season and the longing for “spring” is due.  But, how is this possible?

Here are some things to consider:

Communicate:

It may also be good to think about and discuss these questions with your partner. Discussing these questions can help you both to spark your memory of why your relationship is important to you.  After the kids go to bed, spread out a tablecloth, light a candle, have some dessert and discuss:

When did you first meet?

What was your first date like?

When did you first talk about your relationship or possibly getting married?

What was your first home together like or the first place you lived?

What qualities attracted you most to the other?

Getting Support:

There are a number of marriage and couples conferences around the country ranging from a few hours on a Saturday to week-long getaways.  Instead of each of you being on your own phones, take some time with your loved one and look together to see if you can find a workshop that looks interesting and see if you can make one of those work for you. If a weekend feels like too big of a commitment, what about finding a couples counselor to help you reconnect and find joy in your relationship. If you want help finding a couples counselor to help you with any relationship issues, contact us at 240-274-5680 or email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com.  

Loving relationships are worth seeking out a springtime and allowing for your relationship to grow with the changing of the season.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP

Abbie Mortimer, Executive Assistant

Another Look at Healing, LLC - Counseling and Wellness Center for Women

Why Is Going to Therapy So Difficult?

Ever feel like therapy is too hard or wished it didn't have to be so hard? Most people have that feeling at one time or another during a course of treatment and it may help to have a bit of understanding of why it is such a challenge and what is going on inside of you. So, first, applause to you for taking a step in a direction of helping yourself!  Regardless of what you might feel you need help with, actually looking at what is getting in your way of change can begin the changing process! As you already may have realized, change itself is difficult. Look how long you have been going along in your life, feeling, acting, behaving, being this certain way. Even when you have the best of intentions of changing; said change is often still quite challenging. 
We as humans are hard wired to build up defenses (essentially ways of protecting ourselves from "potential" harms way). When you come to therapy often times those defenses are no longer working effectively for you. It is likely because the defenses have become more of a barrier to those around you and yourself from feeling whatever it is that you may feel. A well trained therapist will help you to become aware of these defenses and feelings that arise during your sessions and explore what might be occurring. Your therapist wants to help you reach your goals; with time, patience, and a good fit you may just see and feel some of the change you are hoping for and working towards.Try and be kind to yourself during this process; its tough, though you are worth it.


For more assistance finding a therapist who is a good fit for you, feel free to call our office at 240-274-5680 or for more information about our therapists, visit www.HealingLLC.com.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP

Are you a Mind Reader? Do you wish people knew what you wanted?

The mind-reading fantasy

“He should just know how it makes me feel when he does that!”

“She should know what that look on my face means by now.”

The fantasy of mind-reading in our relationships is a real wish for many people. What is it? You know when you expect your partner, parent, or friend just knew what to do or say? Or wish she knew just what you wanted for your birthday without having to spell it out? Mind-reading is the idea that your significant other always knows just what you think/feel/want/need and how to respond accordingly. The reality is, without asking, you may not know what she wants, and without her telling you, you really may not know. What you think, and what actually is happening in an others thoughts just might be two different realities.

What this comes down to is the desire one has for another to anticipate and meet his/her own needs. Sounds pretty basic, right? Well it can be.  Mature, healthy adults are responsible for having our own needs met; oftentimes in the communication to and with our partner.

What can you do? Start by being more aware of this kind of thought process of mind reading.  Take a moment and try and take a more global picture of the situation and see if you could be jumping to conclusions based on a possible false belief. Instead of assuming you think you know, ask. Ask for clarification. Take the opportunity to learn what your loved one wants and needs from you.

Save the mind reading for the fortune tellers…

More Sex through Cooperation and Communication

A thought provoking article below by Dr. Stephanie Buehler, Director of The Buehler Institute. Thought you would enjoy! - Amy Hooper, Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Yes, Dear:  Sexy Words?  You Bet!

Long ago, a friend told me his secret for a long and happy marriage, two little words that made a huge difference in his relationship.  Those two words were "Yes, dear."  I know, it seems so simplistic that you're wondering if you're going to spend the next 3-4 minutes of your life reading this article.  But hear me out.  There's actually science behind this. John Gottman, an internationally renown psychologist and couples therapist, taped couples to detect patterns in those who stayed together, and those who split.  What he noticed is that cooperative couples tended to have the longest relationships.  For example, if a husband noticed his wife was cooking dinner (and vice versa), he would set the table without being asked.  A woman who asked her partner to empty the dishwasher would be told it would get done, and it would, without any discussion or argument. More science:  Men who do chores get more sex.  It's true.  In a study of male partners, those who took out the trash got laid more often.  We might take it a step further and imagine that when asked to do such chores, instead of a groan, they responded by acting cooperatively. Look, we all have tons of stuff to do.  We all have our pet peeves.  And we all want to get along.  When your partner asks you to do something, do you argue?  Do you think your partner is a nag?  Do you respond with, "Why don't you do it yourself?"  Do you cause a fight?  Do you criticize your partner for wanting you to get your wet teabags out of the sink or running your banana peel down the disposal? Let's go a little further.  What do you suppose your partner thinks when, after asking you to do a few small things and getting barked at, when you come around looking for sex?  That's right, they don't feel like cooperating with you! Maybe it's not little things, though.  Maybe it's big things, like where to live or whether or not to have children.  Such discussions still require cooperation, not a bulldozer.  In such cases, cooperation takes the form of listening.  What is your partner trying to say?  Go deeper:  What is your partner FEELING?  Is there panic?  Dread?  Excitement?  You become more cooperative when you tune in, not just to the words your partner is saying, but their feelings.  Something else happens, too.  Your partner feels HEARD.  Now they are more likely to listen to you in return.  And there it is, a cooperative discussion instead of a fight. What if you are the person who is always asking for things to get done and getting resistance?  I would still invite you to look at whether or not you are cooperative.  Are you, for example, overly controlling about finances, holidays, or family visits?  Are you unable to stand up to others to protect your partner's feelings?  Do you do things for your partner that you don't especially like, just because you feel loving?  Or do you dig in your heels, roll your eyes, and cross your arms while you grudgingly accompany him or her?  You see how being cooperative is a big deal now, right?  Can you see how resolving to be more cooperative can improve your relationship quickly?  Can you also see that even if you think you are angelic in the cooperation department that there is room for improvement?  I could go into all the reasons we might stop being cooperative, but that would miss the point.  I think it's best to simply resolve to act in a more loving and cooperative way with your partner in 2013.  Now what do you say to that?  That's right:  Yes, dear.