Tips to Help Calm and Manage Anxiety

Many of us experience anxiety on a regular basis. Anxiety can show up in various ways and times and sometimes at really inconvenient moments! Most individuals can identify with the physical and emotional symptoms that can be associated with anxiety, such as feeling overwhelmed, unable to think clearly, feeling panicky, shortness of breath, racing heart, difficulty sleeping, restlessness, shifts in mood, eating more or less than usual, irritability, to name just a few of the ways anxiety can manifest.

While learning to understand your anxiety with the help of a professional (where the anxiety may stem from and what it means), there are ways to help limit anxious feelings or symptoms when they arise. Acknowledging the presence of anxiety is an important place to start. Be mindful that you are feeling anxious and that the anxiety does not have to define you in the moment. While it may feel overwhelming, there are several tips to help you manage and take more control over anxiety producing situations. 

Tips to help manage anxiety in the moment:

-Deep breathing techniques--can be done in any place at most any time (take a deep breath in through your nose or mouth for as long as you are able and then push that breath out until you feel the need to breath in again; repeat for 10 long breaths in and out, counting each inhale and exhale as a completed deep breath. Continue as long as necessary until feeling more calm.

-Talk to someone-it can be helpful to talk about how your anxiety makes you feel and help you to feel not so alone in it.

-Distractions- turning your attention to something else is helpful to take you away from the anxiety; such as playing video games, Sudoku, word-finds, coloring books, listening and singing along to music, taking a walk outside.

While anxiety can be uncomfortable it does not have to stop you from enjoying your life to its fullest. If you find yourself struggling with anxiety and would like to see if meeting with a professional counselor could be helpful for you reach out to us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center 240-274-5680, admin@healingllc.com or www.healingllc.com.

Exercise and Mental Health

It is no secret that physical exercise is so important for the health of your body. What may be more surprising are the benefits of exercise to your mental health and overall well-being. There are significant ways exercise supports mental health! You have likely heard of the "runner's high", the endorphins (the feel good chemicals) that get released during exercise and other physical activity. Beyond the endorphin release are multiple other reasons to lace up your sneakers and take a walk, or head to the gym. Some of these include:

-Taking the time out for yourself: When else do you make time just for YOU? 

-Making yourself a priority (body and mind).

-Physical activity allows you to focus on the task at hand, and practice being in the moment. A chance to put aside the to-do list/worries/concerns temporarily. 

-You get the opportunity to try new workouts and change it up if you get bored of the latest one. For example, if you are tired from running try a spinning class, yoga, interval training, or any other activity that keeps you moving, motivated and stimulated.

-Challenging yourself-ever thought about rock climbing, trapezeing, or signing up for a 5k run? There may be physical activities that sound intimidating if they are new, but it also allows you the chance to try out something different. By pushing yourself outside your comfort zone you may experience a confidence boost as well.

-Fun-if you prefer to walk with a friend, or join a club sports team it is a great chance to catch up and/or meet new friends and connect while doing your body and mind some good.

-Control-We certainly do not have control over some parts of life, but we can control what we decide to do with our bodies. By keeping a structured time to exercise your muscles allows you to have a little bit of what you can control while perhaps keeping some anxiety at ease.

-Chance to modify-Physical injuries, disabilities or limitations do not necessarily have to keep you from being active; you may need to modify what you had been doing for example, if you were running 3 times per week and developed a foot injury you may need to explore other options such as swimming or bike riding to alleviate pressure on a certain body part while continuing to achieve the benefits of regular exercise.

While it seems easy to come up with an excuse not to exercise, see if you can find a reason TO make that time for yourself.  If starting a new or different exercise routine it is encouraged to check with your physician first. If you are thinking about making some changes in your lifestyle and would like to explore this further with one of our therapists, contact us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center at admin@healingllc.com or 240-274-5680 or visit our website at www.healingllc.com.

Giving Thanks and Self Care this Holiday Season

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.” ~ Henry Van Dyke

Each year, Thanksgiving Day reminds us to take a moment to note the things and people in our lives for which we are grateful. While we may feel gratitude for those people or things we already have in our lives, sometimes it is not only difficult to acknowledge and embrace those feelings, but to truly appreciate that for which we are thankful as well.

Gratitude is the base from which appreciation grows. That means we can be grateful for something or someone in our lives without really appreciating it. The subtle shift from gratitude to appreciation involves being more thoughtfully aware and active in reflecting on the reasons we feel grateful about something or someone. Through present moment awareness, we begin to generate feelings of appreciation.

For example, we can be grateful for having a close friendship. However, we can go further and appreciate our friend’s beauty, intelligence, and sense of humor, as well as her thoughtfulness, trustworthiness and helpfulness. In this way, we move beyond thankfulness as we consciously recognize the value and significance that our friend adds to our lives.

The next step – expressing our appreciation or “giving thanks”, in the language of the season – is often the greatest challenge.

All too often we remain silent, not showing the people we love how thankful we are to have them in our lives. This is not necessarily for lack of good intentions. Life just gets in the way or we struggle to find the words. We forget to say a simple “thank you”, or write a heartfelt note of thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on these intentions. This is a time to ask oneself, “Am I thanking those who mean the most? Am I giving back a bit of what I have been given?” But even if we lack the ways to express our appreciation, simply bringing to mind our thankfulness and appreciation will make us feel brighter, lighter, happier, more inspired, energized, and loved this holiday season.

For more help feeling good this holiday season, counseling can help. Call or email us today for an appointment at 240-274-5680 or AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC - Counseling Center for Women and Families

Everyone is doing it… Online Dating: The Do’s and Dont’s

If you are one of the fish swimming in the dating pool you have likely tried or thought about trying online dating websites to potentially meet a match. A decade ago online dating was nearly unheard of, while in this day and age, practically “everyone is doing it”. If you are single and trying to meet someone new and are thinking about trying (or are already using) an online dating website we have a few tips to think about.

Do’s

-Be you! It’s easy to get anxious when meeting someone new, so try a quick relaxation exercise like deep breathing prior to a date.

-If you choose to drink alcohol, allow yourself a limit to maintain your best judgment

-Meet in a public space and keep it simple…coffee shop, restaurant, book shop

-Trust your gut, it’s usually right on

-Practice common sense

-Keep an open mind, you never know! Do you have a “type”? Get out of that comfort zone and meet someone different

-Talk on the phone before meeting to get a feel for the person

-Even if the first date is a bust, try to find something you like about each person you meet

-Relax! Have fun!

Don’ts

-Reveal too much private information before knowing someone (how much is too much? If you wouldn’t want to put it out on social media sites, think before you share). If it is someone you’d like to get to know more, things will unfold naturally.

-Post revealing photographs

-Become too involved back and forth before meeting; yes you want to know who you are going to meet, however at the same time you want to manage your expectations since a false sense of intimacy can be created prior to real personal interaction has occurred.

The World's Most Important Relationship Tip

Excellent Article by Dr. Stephanie Buehler, Director, The Buehler Institute:

It isn't remembering your partner's birthday.  It isn't learning how to rub his or her neck just right.  It isn't remembering their favorite dish to order from the local Chinese place, either. No, the world's most important relationship tip is as old as old can be: Listen. However, it's not that simple.  You have to listen on many different levels, all at once.  You have to listen in such a way that your partner feels heard.  You have to open your "third ear" and listen with passion, love, and wisdom.  You need to place all your attention on your partner's words and listen, not just to the literal meaning, but to all the shades of meaning underneath. Have you ever had this dialogue: Partner:  You're not listening to me. You:  Yes, I am. Partner:  No, you're not. You:  Yes, I am.  (Repeat what partner says verbatim.) Partner:  That's what I said, but it's not what I mean.  You don't get me at all! You: (Scratching your head.)  Whatever! In this exchange, the listening partner thinks they're all over it because they heard the words.  But they obviously missed a lot of information.  They missed their partner's tone of voice, their body language, and the feelings behind the words. Your partner isn't simply a word-producing device, with sounds coming out of their throat and mouth that come from nowhere.  Your partner is a thinking, feeling human being.  When they need you to listen, really listen, they are speaking with the hope that they will be understood without having to spell out every single little detail.  If you are intimate partners, it is expected, at least to some extent, that you know your partner well enough that you understand the significance of what they are saying. This type of exchange often happens when the listener is concrete.  That means they are very literal and focused on what is happening on the immediate present.  When someone is concrete, it means that they lack flexibility to understand that there is so much more going on.  It is like being tuned into one channel and not realizing that others exist. Can you develop better skill as a listener?  As a matter of fact, yes!  Here are more tips to make the original tip even better.  For example, don't anticipate what your partner is going to say, and don't start creating a response until your partner has finished speaking. While your partner is speaking, check in with yourself.  What emotional response do you get from their words?  Do you feel sad, upset, angry, amused, or confused?  Can you sense any tightness or other signal in your body, such as in your stomach?  And, what do you notice about your partner's face and body?  Are they tense?  Are their eyes wide open?  Or are they downcast?  What does this body language tell you about the importance of what they are saying? Once your partner has spoken, check in.  Make sure you heard what they said.  Ask.  Then reflect.  How do you want to respond? Try letting your partner know that you understand from their words that they might be feeling angry or distressed or whatever.  If you don't get the feeling behind their words just right, ask them to describe it to you. Respond to the feeling first--very important!  That is what makes your partner feel heard.  Give your partner sympathy or whatever is required.  Even if you don't share their point of view, be patient.  Let your partner know they are as important to you as you are to yourself. Only then can you begin to offer advice or to brainstorm, not before. I think you will be amazed with the result.  You and your partner will feel more intimate.  You will fight less.  Your partner will feel more understanding toward you, as well. Yes, the most important relationship skill is to listen.  The second most important relationship skill is how you speak to your partner--but that's for next month, stay tuned!

Can you hear me now? Making technology work for you AND your relationships.

Technology in this day and age has come so far and is remarkable in so many convenient ways. This convenience of texting, emailing, tweeting, instant messaging, face timing, skyping, facebooking, may be taking a toll you your relationships. Now there is no doubt that these vehicles for communication often are an aid in communicating and staying in touch with our friends and family but what are the consequences of the lack of face to face and telephonic conversations? Let's see how all of us can make adjustments in our lives for the best use of our communication for ourselves and in relation to others.

For those who grew up without cell phones and computers:
Keep in mind you could be missing out on staying in touch if you are resistant to using the latest and greatest tools.
Are your kids responsive via text? Better at keeping in the know when they let you know where they are with the touch of a few key strokes? Learn to use it; be in the know so stay in touch with your teenager with guidelines of use (expectations of time response and consequences if non responsive).

For those who might use modern day communication tools a little too much:
Try to be mindful about the amount of use of texting and emailing. Texts can be a nice way to show someone you are thinking of them though try to take breaks from your phone. For example, leave it in the gym locker or turn it on do not disturb, and if you can fathom the idea, see how it feels to leave the phone at home when going out for the evening. Take opportunities when in company of others to be present and thoughtful about the use of your phone. Think about how it feels when someone you are with is constantly looking at his/her phone. See if you can limit your texting to those times when need to be in touch and let someone know quickly where to meet or are running late. Remember how it feels when you receive a phone call from an important person. Consider how good it feels to hear that persons voice. We are all doing the best that we can to stay in touch. Try your hardest to make the best choice of the use of the different modes of communication.

Benefits of in person contact: 
You can see, hear, and touch. Sometimes you just need a hug, or a hand to be held. Sometimes words over text can be misunderstood without tone of voice. Being present with another allows us to feel more connected, have eye contact, a mirroring smile, or a pat on the back when needed. Notice when you might change your choice of words,emphasis, and tone when face to face, telephone, or email. Awareness is the first step of making improvements in your communication and relationships.

More Sex through Cooperation and Communication

A thought provoking article below by Dr. Stephanie Buehler, Director of The Buehler Institute. Thought you would enjoy! - Amy Hooper, Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Yes, Dear:  Sexy Words?  You Bet!

Long ago, a friend told me his secret for a long and happy marriage, two little words that made a huge difference in his relationship.  Those two words were "Yes, dear."  I know, it seems so simplistic that you're wondering if you're going to spend the next 3-4 minutes of your life reading this article.  But hear me out.  There's actually science behind this. John Gottman, an internationally renown psychologist and couples therapist, taped couples to detect patterns in those who stayed together, and those who split.  What he noticed is that cooperative couples tended to have the longest relationships.  For example, if a husband noticed his wife was cooking dinner (and vice versa), he would set the table without being asked.  A woman who asked her partner to empty the dishwasher would be told it would get done, and it would, without any discussion or argument. More science:  Men who do chores get more sex.  It's true.  In a study of male partners, those who took out the trash got laid more often.  We might take it a step further and imagine that when asked to do such chores, instead of a groan, they responded by acting cooperatively. Look, we all have tons of stuff to do.  We all have our pet peeves.  And we all want to get along.  When your partner asks you to do something, do you argue?  Do you think your partner is a nag?  Do you respond with, "Why don't you do it yourself?"  Do you cause a fight?  Do you criticize your partner for wanting you to get your wet teabags out of the sink or running your banana peel down the disposal? Let's go a little further.  What do you suppose your partner thinks when, after asking you to do a few small things and getting barked at, when you come around looking for sex?  That's right, they don't feel like cooperating with you! Maybe it's not little things, though.  Maybe it's big things, like where to live or whether or not to have children.  Such discussions still require cooperation, not a bulldozer.  In such cases, cooperation takes the form of listening.  What is your partner trying to say?  Go deeper:  What is your partner FEELING?  Is there panic?  Dread?  Excitement?  You become more cooperative when you tune in, not just to the words your partner is saying, but their feelings.  Something else happens, too.  Your partner feels HEARD.  Now they are more likely to listen to you in return.  And there it is, a cooperative discussion instead of a fight. What if you are the person who is always asking for things to get done and getting resistance?  I would still invite you to look at whether or not you are cooperative.  Are you, for example, overly controlling about finances, holidays, or family visits?  Are you unable to stand up to others to protect your partner's feelings?  Do you do things for your partner that you don't especially like, just because you feel loving?  Or do you dig in your heels, roll your eyes, and cross your arms while you grudgingly accompany him or her?  You see how being cooperative is a big deal now, right?  Can you see how resolving to be more cooperative can improve your relationship quickly?  Can you also see that even if you think you are angelic in the cooperation department that there is room for improvement?  I could go into all the reasons we might stop being cooperative, but that would miss the point.  I think it's best to simply resolve to act in a more loving and cooperative way with your partner in 2013.  Now what do you say to that?  That's right:  Yes, dear.

*Free Depression/Anxiety Screenings in October*

I wanted to take a minute to let you know about a couple of our exciting Fall events. This includes a free anxiety and depression screening and low-cost therapy group that I thought might be of interest to you. Please feel free to pass the information along to anyone who might be interested.

As you may know, depression and anxiety affects many people and often goes untreated. Each year, depressive disorders affect around 18.8 million American adults, that’s 9.5% of the US population over 18. However, due to stigma and other factors, less than 1/2 of those suffering actually seek treatment.

To help fight the stigma around depression and help identify the problem, Another Look at Healing, LLC is conducting free National Depression Screening Days in October. As part of the program, participants will have the opportunity to complete brief, anonymous screenings for depression, bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. Participants will be able to learn about the symptoms of depression, and how to help a friend or family member who may be at risk. Participants will also have the option of talking to a health care professional about any concerns they may have and they will receive multiple referrals to local treatment services.

Screenings will be offered from 9am to 9pm, Monday through Saturday, by appointment during the month of October. For more information about the screenings or to set up an appointment, contact Amy Hooper at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or call the main office at 240-274-5680.

In addition to the free screenings, we also offer individual, couples and family therapy. We have added on lost-cost therapy group for individuals who want support working through their interpersonal difficulties, including, but not limited to, depression and anxiety. I have included a flyer for our upcoming Personal Growth Therapy Group, as well as details about our practice for your review.
I look forward to collaborating with you in the future!

Take Good Care,

Amy L. Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC
www.HealingLLC.com
AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com
240-274-5680

A Sex Therapist's Tips for Relationships

Written By: Dr. Stephanie Buehler, Director, The Buehler Institute

"Never fear, Dr. Buehler is here!  Some prime ideas for keeping cool when things are too hot (and not in a good way).

1.  Learn anger management.  I don't know why this isn't really taught as a subject in school.  Everyone needs to know how to prevent becoming a personal flame thrower.  Here are some tips from Mayo Clinic.  Learn them and use them.

2.  Learn to contain problems.  Unless something is really, truly urgent, it's often best to hold back on criticism, even if you intend to be helpful.  Repeat criticism becomes nagging.  When your partner does something, tuck it away to talk about later, when you are both calm.  In fact, this morning a client resolved to put such things on their phone, then review them at the end of the week to see what was needed for discussion.  So whatever clever thing you are going to fling at your partner, zip it, tuck it away, and bring it up later.  Chances are that with time it won't seem so important, and the two of you really can come up with a solution or resolve to do better.

3.  Accept conflict.  There is no such thing as a conflict-free relationship.  Trust me, when couples tell me that there is no conflict, if they get me alone, it all comes out in a vent, like steam.  Keeping peace is not a good goal.  You need to learn how to communicate assertively and resolve conflict, not just sweep it under the rug.

Here are some steps for rational conflict resolution:

• Identify the problem.  You may be arguing about two different things. (Not that that's ever happened in my household, don't think it has.) 
• Create several solutions.  Do not criticize them.  Write them down.   
• Reflect on the solutions.  Do not talk yet.  Just look at the list and see if any of the solutions is more apt to satisfy both parties.
• Discuss the solutions.  If things start to get heated, take a break.  (See tips on anger management, above.)  Keep the discussion focused on resolving the conflict.
• Agree on a solution.  Not "the perfect solution."  A solution.
• Try the solution to see how it works.
• Re-evaluate and adjust as needed.  Go back to the list of solutions if the solution you chose really didn't work.  

4.  Stay on your side of the line.  Respect your partner's individual opinion.  No put downs.  People may not agree but they still love one another.  The idea isn't to have your partner prove their love by allowing themselves to be won over.  The idea is to create a win-win relationship, at least as much as humanly possible.

5.  Sex.  Have some.  Even if you aren't feeling quite in the mood, it is a good idea to put aside conflict and make love, not war.  It will make you feel closer and can make the problem solving easier.  If you really aren't up to making love, then at least try a hug or a little humor to show that even though you are upset, you still love your partner. 

If your relationship is filled with constant conflict, something else is going on:  poor communication, painful feelings and resentment, or inability to understand what the point is of having a relationship at all.  That's when it's time to contact a professional.  Life is too short, isn't it, to fight all the time?"
I thought this was too good not to pass along. We have therapists in our practice who specialize in couples counseling and relationship issues. So, if you want help working on any of the above recommendations, call us today at 240-274-5680 or send me an email to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com. Visit www.HealingLLC.com/cso for details.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

12 Tips for Successful Sleep

Tips for better sleep - try out a few of these techniques and find out which ones work for you!

1. Turn off all electronics one hour before bedtime. This includes computer, TV’s and cell phones. The blue light from the LCD or laptop screen suppresses your body’s natural sleep chemical, Melatonin. Also, the action and engagement on the TV or computer makes your body’s daytime stress chemicals such as adrenaline spike making it difficult to sleep.
2. Establish a night time routine. The last 30-45 minutes before bed should be the same each night. Establishing a routine helps your body know what to expect when bedtime is approaching. This routine will cue your circadian, internal clock, to get ready for sleep.
3. Increase the amount of self-care and relaxation activities in your life. Make sure you are relaxing and taking care of yourself. That might be reading a good book, taking a warm bubble bath or doing some light stretching as you get ready for bed.
4. Exercise early in the day. Getting your heart rate up each day can help improve sleep at night. Try to avoid exercising a few hours before bed, and try to get your work out in the morning or early afternoon. Not only is exercise good for your mood because it boosts the feel good chemicals such as Seratonin, it also decreases stress. Exercising will help your body use its extra energy during the day so you don’t have to lie awake at night.
5. Avoid putting chemicals in your body, especially the chemicals that are stimulants or depressants. This includes alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and other drugs. You might think alcohol will help you sleep because it is a depressant, but while you might fall asleep faster, the quality of sleep is decreased as the alcohol metabolizes.
6. Create the perfect environment. Make sure the bedroom is dark at night, and let light in when morning comes. You may have to turn your alarm clock around so the lights are not facing you or block blinking lights by covering them. Use soft, comfortable sheets and maintain a temperature that is comfortable for you. Creating the proper environment will help you sleep better.
7. Eat, Drink and be sleepy! Be sure to eat small meals throughout the day, the last one a few hours before bed. Also remember to drink water throughout the day and into the evening, just not too much right before bed or you will wake up to use the bathroom.
8. Try some Deep Breathing. Taking even 10 long, deep breaks helps decrease your heart rate and blood pressure, helping to prepare your body for sleep.
9. Practice a Progressive Muscle Relaxation exercise, which incorporates Deep Breathing and working each of the muscles of your body then releasing the tension. You can find step by step guides online or check out the following youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFwCKKa--18.
10. Stop pressuring yourself to go to sleep, focus on the process of relaxing and winding down, the sleep will come. If you push yourself too hard to sleep, for example saying to yourself, “I have to go to sleep in the next 10 minutes or I will be tired tomorrow” it is too much pressure and you will have more trouble sleeping. Try reframing your thought to “I am feeling good, relaxing and getting tired now, and I will fall asleep when it is time to sleep.”
11. If you still find yourself unable to sleep, talking to a counselor can help you alleviate the stressors and anxieties that contribute to your not sleeping. If you would like to set up an appointment with one of our therapists, call 240-274-5680 for more information.
12. Medication can help. If you have tried all these options and still can not sleep, medication can help. There are a range of medications, from more natural options such as Melatonin to prescription medications that can help you get the sleep you need to feel rested and awake during the day.

Try out a few of these techniques and find out which ones work for you!

If you are looking to connect with one of the therapists at our center, we have three wonderful counselors at our practice who specialize in different areas. If you want help individually or as a couple, if you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious or depressed and want support managing all of those feelings, and getting help figuring out what to do, call us today for a free consultation. You can call Amy directly at 240-274-5680 or by email at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com and we can get you set up with a therapist who will be the best fit for you. Visit www.HealingLLC.com for details.

Trouble Sleeping?

Do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? Do you often lie awake at night, thinking about and worrying about everything you have to do? If so, you are one of many people who has sleep troubles. Because sleep is so important to living a healthy life, we decided to devote the Winter edition of Healing Times to helping you get more sleep! Rest assured, there are many remedies to sleeplessness. The key is finding out which ones work for you.

In this blog, we will get down to basics and discuss the topic of sleep and in the next blog 12 solutions to your sleep problems. If you have a friend or family member who you think could benefit from learning about getting better sleep, please feel free to forward this newsletter to them.

We hope the information in this blog will help empower you to have the courage to change what is not working for you and embrace what is. This will, in turn help you live your life in a more fulfilling and meaningful way.

Remember: "May sleep envelop you as a bed sheet floating gently down, tickling your skin and removing every worry. Reminding you to consider only this moment." -Jeb Dickerson

While sleeping, the body is able to reenergize and recuperate. In addition, sleep helps your immune system stay strong. When you are asleep, your brain can process the events and stressors of the day, leaving you less overwhelmed with life if you get the proper amount of sleep. On the other hand, getting too little sleep can cause irritability, and/or a diminished capacity to handle stress, which can in turn lead to both physical and emotional issues.

Stayed tuned for 12 Tips for Improved Sleep, posted in February! If you have any comments or suggestions for what you want to see in our next blog, please send them to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com. Visit www.HealingLLC.com/cso for details.

Take Good Care,
Amy L. Hooper
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Quiz: How much do you know about sleep?

Quiz published by: NIH Medline Plus Summer 2007 Issue: Volume 2 Number 3 Pages 18 - 19. http://www.nlm.nih.gov

Use this brief, time-saving questionnaire to help determine how much you know about sleep and to learn a few new facts.

TRUE OR FALSE ?

_____1. Sleep is a time when your body and brain shut down for rest and relaxation.

_____2. If you regularly doze off unintentionally during the day, you may need more than just a good night's sleep.

_____3. If you snore loudly and persistently at night and are sleepy during the day, you may have a sleep disorder.

_____4. Opening the car window or turning the radio up will keep the drowsy driver awake.

_____5. Narcolepsy is a sleep disorder marked by "sleep attacks."

_____6. The primary cause of insomnia is worry.

_____7. One cause of not getting enough sleep is restless legs syndrome.

_____8. The body has a natural ability to adjust to different sleep schedules such as working different shifts or traveling through multiple time zones quickly.

_____9. People need less sleep as they grow older.

_____10. More people doze off at the wheel of a car in the early morning or midafternoon than in the evening.

Snooze You Can Use—
Sleep Quiz Answers

1. False is correct. Although it is a time when your body rests and restores its energy levels, sleep is an active state that affects both your physical and mental well being.

2. True is correct. Many people doze off unintentionally during the day despite getting their usual night of sleep. This could be a sign of a sleep disorder.

3. True is correct. Persistent loud snoring at night and daytime sleepiness are the main symptoms of a common and serious sleep disorder, sleep apnea. Another symptom is frequent long pauses in breathing during sleep, followed by choking and gasping for breath.

4. False is correct. Opening the car window or turning the radio up may arouse a drowsy driver briefly, but this won't keep that person alert behind the wheel. Even mild drowsiness is enough to reduce concentration and reaction time. The sleep-deprived driver may nod off for a couple of seconds at a time without even knowing it—enough time to kill himself or someone else.

5. True is correct. People with narcolepsy fall asleep uncontrollably—at any time of the day, in all types of situations—regardless of the amount or quality of sleep they've had the night before. Narcolepsy is characterized by these 'sleep attacks,' as well as by daytime sleepiness, episodes of muscle weakness or paralysis, and disrupted nighttime sleep.

6. False is correct. Insomnia has many different causes, including physical and mental conditions and stress. Insomnia is the perception that you don't get enough sleep because you can't fall asleep or stay asleep or get back to sleep once you've awakened during the night. It affects people of all ages, usually for just an occasional night or two, but sometimes for weeks, months, or even years.

7. True is correct. Restless legs syndrome (RLS) is a medical condition distinguished by tingling sensations in the legs—and sometimes the arms—while sitting or lying still, especially at bedtime. The person with RLS needs to constantly stretch or move the legs to try to relieve these uncomfortable or painful symptoms. As a result, he or she has difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep and usually feels extremely sleepy and unable to function fully during the day. Good sleep habits and medication can help the person with RLS.

8. False is correct. The human body's biological clock programs each person to feel sleepy during the nighttime hours and to be active during the daylight hours. So people who work the night shift and try to sleep during the day are constantly fighting their biological clocks. This puts them at risk of error and accident at work and of disturbed sleep. Sleeping during the day in a dark, quiet bedroom and getting exposure to sufficient bright light at the right time can help improve daytime alertness.

9. False is correct. As we get older, we don't need less sleep, but we often get less sleep. That's because our ability to sleep for long periods of time and to get into the deep restful stages of sleep decreases with age. Older people have more fragile sleep and are more easily disturbed by light, noise, and pain. They also may have medical conditions that contribute to sleep problems. Going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every morning, getting exposure to natural outdoor light during the day, and sleeping in a cool, dark, quiet place at night may help.

10. True is the correct answer. Our bodies are programmed by our biological clock to experience two natural periods of sleepiness during the 24-hour day, regardless of the amount of sleep we've had in the previous 24 hours. The primary period is between about midnight and 7:00 a.m. A second period of less intense sleepiness is in the midafternoon, between about 1:00 and 3:00. This means that we are more at risk of falling asleep at the wheel at these times than in the evening--especially if we haven't been getting enough sleep.

If you are looking to get some help with your sleeping or other issues but are not sure where to start, call us today for a free consultation. You can call Amy directly at 240-274-5680 or by email at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com and we can get you set up with a therapist that will be the best fit for you. Visit www.HealingLLC.com for details.

Thanksgiving Tips – Food for Thought!

Each year, we look at why the holiday season is such a difficult time for many people. A few of the reasons we over viewed were: Family Time, including the in-laws, Traveling Issues, Long To Do Lists and of course Holiday Meals. In this blog, we will look more specifically into a few of these topics and discuss some specific steps to help relieve holiday stress.

“I always overeat during the holidays, how can I stop?"

1. Mindfulness! During the meal, be present and pay attention to yourself.
Are you filling your plate to the brim just because that’s what everyone else does? Are you drinking alcohol to “loosen up”, if so, identify what is making you feel uncomfortable and address it directly. Are you actually tasting each bite, or just the first few and then you slip into robotic eating mode? Do you eat to quickly to even give yourself time to feel full?

2. Treat Yourself! Allow yourself permission to feel good both before and after the meal. If you always end up feeling so stuffed it is painfully uncomfortable, or you feel guilty afterwards, treat yourself to the gift of feeling good. Know that you can eat a wonderful meal, and even have dessert without completely filling yourself until you want to pop! Take less food – you can always go back for seconds if you are still hungry. You earned the right to feel good.

3. Enjoy Nature! Take a Walk. After the meal, get the family together or a special relative to take a walk with. This will give you some time to talk, get some fresh air, use your muscles and energize.

4. Match Making! If you feel like eating cassarole, don’t eat salad and expect to feel satisfied. If you want a slice of pie, don’t restrict yourself from doing so or you could end up eating the whole pie 2 hours later! It helps to check in with yourself and your body to see what you are hungry for – does your body feel like it needs carbs, protein, sweets? If you eat what your body wants you to eat – make matches between what you want and what you have – then you are more likely to feel satisfied after each meal.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Meanwhile, I would LOVE to hear your feedback! Send an email to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com with any questions or comments, and let me know what helps you de-stress over the holiday season. All communication will remain confidential. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/therapywork for details.

Thanks for checking in!
–Amy L. Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

A Mind at Ease - The Right Relationship (Part 3 of 3)

We get the greatest benefits from therapy when we can speak candidly with our counselor and trust him or her to create a safe space for us to explore our ideas, thoughts, and emotions. It is absolutely critical for the connection to feel like a “good fit” between us and our therapist, because that relationship provides the arena where change, growth, and healing can happen.

If you decide to try therapy, choosing a therapist will be an important decision. It’s okay to explore options and look around for the right person to work with.

First, choose several counselors and give them a phone call. Find therapists online, get referrals from friends, or the phone book. Give a short summary of the challenges you’re facing and what you’d like to accomplish with therapy.

Take some time to learn about the therapist’s style. Ask them to tell you about their approach to counseling. Some give more feedback and are directive, while others are quieter and give you more time for self-reflection. There are therapists who give homework to do between sessions, while others do not. No technique is right or wrong, but one may be a better fit for you than another.

From your brief conversation, figure out whether it feels good to talk to this person; if it does, you can make an appointment.

While you’re shopping around, it’s okay to book an appointment with a couple of different therapists. You can even let them know that you’re talking to several therapists to find the best one for you. A good counselor will want you to feel comfortable with whomever you choose and will support your process in finding a good match.

The future looks a little brighter when you walk out of a therapist’s office. Once you’ve found the right one for you, what seemed like chaos in your mind and your life can begin to make sense. You can learn to take control and live more fully, more authentically, right now.

And that puts a mind at ease.

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP is counselor who helps regular, everyday people who are struggling through life’s difficult times to take charge of their lives and feel better about themselves. She is the director of Another Look at Healing, LLC, a counseling and wellness center in Gaithersburg, MD, where adults, teens, and couples come for individual psychotherapy or group therapy. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/therapywork or contact Amy at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or 240-274-5680.

A Mind at Ease - A Joyful Journey with Therapy (Part 2 of 3)

Therapy takes us on a journey of self-understanding, healing past hurts, improving current relationships, increasing healthy coping mechanisms, and finding self-acceptance. We can learn to attend to our own needs, to self-soothe, to find validation from within, and to increase self-control and self-love.

One common strategy to explore in therapy is looking at our past to make sense of our present. The wounds and hurts of our past can give powerful clues about how we see and interact with the world today. Examining these past hurts and working to resolve them might be painful, but a therapist can support you through the process.

It takes courage to let go of the old patterns, negative self-messages, and destructive behaviors that are no longer working for us. With the support of a trusted therapist, we can gain a new perspective and begin seeing the world differently. We gain the ability to react and respond to situations in new, healthy ways. Examining our past and present guides the work of becoming the person we want to be and getting unstuck from our past.

A counselor may also offer specific skills and coping mechanisms to help us in our healing journey. For example, they may teach us how to do deep breathing to decrease anxiety or use specific communication skills to get our needs met. They may share problem-solving techniques to help eliminate depression. Even the act of talking with our therapist will teach us something, too: how to calmly sit with strong feelings and emotions and communicate them to someone who cares about us. Practicing talking with your therapist can help you figure out how to communicate effectively in your other relationships. You can learn to express your true needs, discover what it’s like to have someone truly listen and help you meet those needs, and be free from other people’s expectations and projected desires.

For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/therapywork for details. 

A Mind at Ease - Finding Guidance For Life (Part 1 of 3)

Nothing eases the mind like having someone listen. Whether we’re in a peaceful moment or a crisis, talking and sharing ideas can help us feel understood, validated, and supported as we navigate through life. Feeling that connection is one of the reasons why our friends, family, and loved ones often are so important to our happiness and fulfillment.

There are times, though, when it’s helpful to talk to someone who isn’t involved in our everyday life and has a more objective perspective. We all sometimes feel misunderstood, guilty, insecure, disconnected, or judged in our relationships. Because of this, everyone could benefit from having someone who can listen without judgment or defensiveness; someone who wants to see us grow, encourages us to embrace our strengths, and helps us take charge of our own lives. The confidence we gain from receiving guidance and confirmation on our life’s bearings can be invaluable for navigating our future.

For too long, seeing a counselor or therapist carried an unwarranted stigma of struggling with mental illness. But we all go through challenging transitions and stressful situations, and it takes maturity and self-awareness (and a certain level of sanity!) to realize how beneficial a bit of therapy can be. A therapist or counselor can be a confidante and provide the kind of support we could all use, especially during the stressful times in our lives.

That’s because licensed therapists and counselors see their clients as whole people, not just a collection of “problems.” They can help uncover strengths buried deep within us and reveal insights we may never have known or acknowledged. They can aid our understanding of our beliefs and patterns of thinking and help us gain perspective on what is happening in our lives, clarify our dreams and goals for the future, and choose new ways of interacting with others.

What we discover in therapy guides us to change our behaviors, reactions, and choices in life. The counselor provides the tools; we choose how to use them in planning and building of our future.

For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/therapywork for details. 

How To Create a Positive Body Image

Developing a positive body image and a healthy mental attitude is crucial to a person’s happiness, mental health and wellness. We have compiled a list of the top 8 ways to improve your body image so you can feel good about yourself!

Exercise - but not to lose weight. Certain types of exercises will help you to focus your mind and learn about your body. This will in turn improve your body image! Take a yoga, Tai chi or pilates class. These workouts are great not because they help you lose weight, but because they demonstrate how to focus in on how our bodies feel. The emphasis of these types of exercises is to be in touch with your body; understand the complicated nature of the body; and, recognize how incredible our bodies are as they help us move, lift and even hug. Pay attention to your body and do not try to ignore or hide it. These classes also allow us to feel more in control and comfortable with our own bodies relatively quickly. All of this helps build confidence and self-esteem, which directly impacts our body image, and ultimately develops empowerment and strength.

Relaxation or Meditation. By practicing deep relaxation or meditation, you can redirect your mind away from self-critical thoughts, and refocus toward more positive ways of thinking. This can help you gain perspective and decrease anxiety.

Values Matter. Focus on your inner values. If you want to be a kind empathetic person, practice empathy and kindness. Not just to others, but to yourself as well! Understanding that who you are is more important that what you look like can help lead to more acceptance and self-love.

Affirm. An affirmation is a short, positive statement about you in the present tense. This statement affirms what you most want and need in your life. The reason for having an affirmation is to calm intrusive anxiety and worries, correct negative beliefs and to prevent self-sabotaging. In short, the affirmation you create will help you to feel calm, grounded and in control. Try creating your own affirmation. Repeat it to yourself throughout the day, particularly during times of stress. This statement will remind you of what an incredible woman you truly are and what you can accomplish with your strengths. Create and repeat positive affirmations such as “I love and approve of myself'” or “I am a strong, confident person”.

Find Your Assertive Self. Learn to practice assertiveness skills. Being assertive and having a sense of self-control helps you to like who you are. Practice saying “no” when you do not want to do something someone asks of you. Speak up about what movie you want to see instead of following what someone else wants. If you would like for something to happen – ask for help. You might actually get what you want and feel better about yourself for making it happen.

Self-Care. Treat your body respectfully. Nourish it with the healthy food it wants. Do not abuse your body with hours on the treadmill; enjoy a fun walk outside instead. Take a warm bath; get a massage; or simply pamper your skin with lotion if it gets dry or sunburned. These are ways to take care of yourself. If you practice self-care and self-love, you will feel more accepting and positive about your body and yourself.

Adventure. Read fun books, find new hobbies, new friends, study art, or a new language – just try something new. Doing new things will stimulate your brain and help you to see the world differently. It will also help you to take your mind off those negative thoughts.

Attitude. Have an attitude of gratitude. Take time to reflect on all the positive things in your life every day. Think about everything you have and can practice being grateful for. Each night think of one thing that happened during the day that was good or fun or positive. Maybe you helped someone crossing a street; picked up litter from the sidewalk; walked 4 blocks to run an errand instead of jumping in the car; called a friend you haven’t spoken to an several weeks; turned your phone or computer OFF for 15 minutes to have some quiet, introspective time.

Thoughts? Comments? We welcome your feedback. Contact us today at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com, by phone 240-274-5680 or check out our website at www.HealingLLC.com.

Body Image Issues

Summer is here. As the weather gets warmer, people pull out their summer clothes, start special diets, and star spending hours in the gym. With trips to the beach and the warm weather, summer time reveals more skin that would otherwise be covered. Are you confident with your looks? Are you emotionally and mentally prepared for the pool and beach season? Will you let your beauty shine through? In this article, we will discuss the topic of creating a positive body image so you can always feel good about yourself.

Unfortunately the problem of stereotypes in today’s world is poisoning our self-esteem. Magazine cover models have “perfect” faces, are underweight and disproportionate. Actresses and actors from Hollywood look one way, which often makes us think that we are imperfect or even ugly if we don’t look that way. Expensive designers clothes are only made in small sizes and often people starve themselves in order to fit into the cloths. Individuals following unhealthy diets in order to fit in those clothes may have not only an unhealthy relationship with food, but disordered eating as well.

Many of us have a tape playing in our minds of ideas we have heard or interpreted from the people in our life. Some of us think “I’m not good enough” or “I’m ugly”. We often act as harsh self-critics and tend to blame ourselves for any perceived flaw. It takes effort, but if we can recognize these negative messages we are telling ourselves, we can work to turn them around and instead say to ourselves “I am good enough” or “I am beautiful”. So often we forget that our uniqueness makes us who we are – and who we are is special and worthy of praise!

Study conducted by Swedish psychiatrists Allebeck, Hallberg et al. demonstrated that individuals with a negative body image tend to have a distorted perception of his or her shape, size and height. The imperfections that are obsessed over are not even real! Often we compare our bodies to others, and feel shame, disgust and anxiety. We believe that others will judge us negatively, but that is because we judge ourselves . Being unhappy with your body can affect how you think and feel about yourself as a person. A poor body image can lead to emotional distress, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and sometimes even suicide (Stein, 2003).

Developing a positive body image and a healthy mental attitude is crucial to a person’s happiness, mental health and wellness.

Stay tuned for our next post - The Top 8 Ways to Improve Your Body Image.
For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/cso for details. 

More Ideas about Resolutions and Goals

How are your New Year’s resolutions coming along? Are you finding it difficult to change, despite resolving to make it finally happen this year?

When reading Psychology Today, this month, I came across a very interesting article about training your brain to help you reach your goals without having to use sheer willpower.

The crux of this article was social psychologist and author, Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. remarks that using the ‘if-then’ technique can be incredibly useful (and 2-3 times more powerful) for “resisting temptation and building good habits”. The technique basically entails making a specific if-then statement about your goal. So, if your goal is to stop eating after 8pm, the revised goal would be: IF it is after 8pm, THEN I will not eat any more food. Or, if your goal is to stop leaving dishes in the sink, your revised goal would be: If I see dishes in the sink, THEN I will wash them immediately before leaving the kitchen.

The reason this technique is so useful is because your brain is biologically programmed to determine behavior from your surroundings. Your brain is always automatically scanning your surroundings for “if” situations, in order to help you know what to do next. So, using an if-then statement creates a link or a bond between the cue (seeing dishes) and the behavior (washing the dishes). This link can become automatic, so you will unconsciously have already told your body what to do in the given situation, which means you will use less conscious will power to go ahead and do the activity. In other words, the dishes will get done and you will decrease your eating after 8pm.

As I mentioned last month, it is important to be gentle with yourself and know that it takes time to get used to any new habit. No one is perfect and making changes often happens incrementally. There will be ups and downs. If you make your goals into if-then statements, your brain can do some of the hard work for you.

This is one more trick in your tool bag of living the life you want. In turn, you will find you can make the changes you want to make for 2011 and for many years to come.

For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/cso for details. 

I always overeat during the holidays, how can I stop?

1. Be Present! During the meal, pay attention to yourself. Are you filling your plate to the brim just because that’s what everyone else does? Are you drinking alcohol to “loosen up”? If so, identify what is making you feel uncomfortable and address it directly. Do you actually taste each bite, or just the first few and then you slip into robotic eating mode? Do you eat to quickly to even give yourself time to feel full?
2. Treat Yourself! Allow yourself permission to feel good both before and after the meal. If you always end up feeling so stuffed it is painfully uncomfortable, or you feel guilty afterwards, treat yourself to the gift of feeling good. Know that you can eat a wonderful meal, and even have dessert without completely filling yourself until you want to pop! Take less food – you can always go back for seconds if you are still hungry. You earned the right to feel good.
3. Enjoy Nature! Take a Walk. After the meal, get the family together or a special relative to take a walk with. This will give you some time to talk, get some fresh air, use your muscles and energize.

Let’s not forget what the holidays are really about - time for gratitude, love (for self and others), family and giving.
If you are feeling overstressed or depressed about the holidays and cannot find a way to manage all of those feelings, or if you begin to feel anxiety or depression that interferes with your life, call us today for a free consultation. You can call Amy directly at 240-274-5680 or by email at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/cso for details.