Self Help for 2014 - What are you resolving to do next year?

As each year comes to a close, we’re often compelled to think of our New Year’s resolutions – This year, I’m going to…“cut chocolate out of my diet and drink less soda.”, “exercise more – maybe 3 times a week?”, “read more books or join a book club”, “do more of the things that I want to do, but never get around to doing.”… the list goes on.

These resolutions translate into the various components of life -- relationships, financial stability, health (emotional, spiritual and physical), giving back to the world, having a meaning in life -- all of which influence each of us differently, shape our experiences, and affect our overall well-being.

As this year nears its end and we look ahead to 2014, what if, instead of thinking about our resolutions, we challenge ourselves to view the different aspects of our lives as part of a broader journey toward greater personal growth?

If we ask ourselves questions such as: How can I be kinder to myself? How can I ask more for what I want and need? And how can I communicate my feelings with others more effectively? Then we’re thinking about the things in life that lead to healthier living. Taking the time to figure out these issues is no easy task, so we at Another Look at Healing, LLC – Counseling and Wellness Center, would like to offer several tips to help you along your journey:

1.      Take reasonable steps. You want to match your personality, skill set, strengths and weaknesses to the goals you’re setting.  And make sure the goals are not too big or too small. This way, the chances of disappointment are decreased, and your motivation increased by achieving what you have set for yourself to accomplish.

2.      Set clear goals. The more you can identify and clarify your goals, the more motivated you will become to achieve them. For example, write down specific lists of exactly what you want to accomplish, and then break it down into tangible, practical steps.

3.      Use your senses. See, hear, and feel what it’s like to have that thing or person you so desire. Visualizing your goals may inspire you to achieve them!

4.      Your goals are yours and not someone else’s. Your goals need to resonate with who you are and what you’re capable of.  Focusing on what someone else has that you don’t or what someone else can do that you want to be able to, can impose a lot of stress without much joy. Keep our #1 tip in mind here!

5.      Balance. Balance. Balance. Sticking to one area of your life too much and for too long while ignoring other areas may backfire, so be aware of your priorities, and look at your life in the long term as well as short with a sense of moderation.

Finally, your actions speak louder than your words. When you respect your word (whether thinking to yourself or talking aloud) and follow through with your actions, you build a sense of trust within yourself that helps you become stronger, more determined and more you. This holiday season, look inside to find the wisest part of you for the answers of what you want to accomplish this next year.

If you need any additional support learning how to become more authentically you, and have the healthier, happier life you always wanted, our counselors are available to help. Call us today at 240-274-5680 or email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com for a free consultation.  

Holiday Health Tips, Holiday Survival Guide Part Two

Holiday Health Tips

1. Try to stay relaxed and maintain a positive outlook. While there are stressors, there is also much to be thankful for.

2. Be mindful of over commitment and overspending.

3. Balance work, home, and play.

4. Recreation and Social Connection: Plan fun activities with friends, family, partners and other loved ones. Attend a community event (theatre, music, lecture, etc.).

5. Get support: Having someone (family, friends, co-workers, sponsors, therapists, etc.) to talk to can really lighten the burden of the stress you feel.

6. Do something spiritual if that is important to you: Visit your place of worship. You may find comfort and perspective from your spiritual community.

7. Take care of your body:

8. Eat well and avoid alcohol or other drugs.

9. Exercise regularly & maintain a routine.

10. Make sure to get proper sleep.

11. Stay active: Volunteer or find another meaningful and satisfying activity in which to engage. Pick up an old hobby. Call an old friend. Bake cookies. Finish that home project you’ve been putting off.

12. If the holiday time is stressful for you and you want some extra support, you can always call of office at 240-274-5680 or email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com to set up an appointment to talk to one of our warm, caring therapists. Help is here.

Wishing you a Healthy, Happy Holiday Season and a very Happy New Year!

Holiday Survival Guide Part 1 of 2

The holiday season has nearly come and gone. All of a sudden, 2013 is right around the corner. For some, this time of year brings feelings of joy and gratitude. It can be a time of great celebration as well. For others, maybe even you or someone you love, this holiday season may be a source of great stress. So how is it that, during a time so full of wonder and love, some of us can feel more pain than pleasure?

Holiday Challenges

1. Holiday Cheer: Seeing others so happy during this of year time can make you feel pressured to be happy, which may be a challenging if that is not how you are really feeling. This might contribute to feelings of not being understood and depression. May be talking to someone could help.

2. Sending Cards & Gift Giving: Making the list, checking it twice, then shopping for, buying and wrapping the gifts can be exhausting. Also, finding the money to pay for the gifts can put a strain on your budget and your mind. This can be overwhelming and stressful so why not simplify this year?

3. Traveling & Time Off of Work: Between the high cost of transportation, large crowds, losing work hours, having to divide the holiday time with other co-workers, amongst other issues, the holiday season might be more stressful than you planned. Some of these things may increase your fear of travel and/or anxiety about your finances. You could think about celebrating the holidays at home this year or making one trip instead of many.

4. Emphasis on Food & Party: This can be particularly trying for many with eating issues or substance abuse issues. For example, being surrounded by large quantities of food and alcohol might make the temptation too great and the pressure to “be good” almost unbearable.  If you struggle with your eating or substance use, you can get support from loved ones by letting them know, or talking to a counselor can help.

5. Spending Time with Family: Finding a way to visit everyone can be overwhelming and nearly impossible. Sometimes being with family can resurrect unpleasant times or dysfunctional family dynamics. Often the most difficulty is in remembering the ones you’ve lost, causing you to experience great sadness or loneliness. You can plan and prepare for family time. You can enjoy what you have and when you have had enough, it is OK to say “no”.

Note that on any given day, the above challenges could be major stressors for just about anyone. So at the holidays, it is important to pay special attention to your health and wellness. Therefore, it is our hope that the tips in our next post to help to empower you to have the courage to change what is not working for you and embrace what is. 

If the holiday time is stressful for you and you want some extra support, you can always call of office at 240-274-5680 or email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com to set up an appointment to talk to one of our warm, caring therapists. Help is here.

What to do when the holidays suck.

This is a wonderful article posted by a fellow therapist about taking care of yourself this holiday season - it was too good not to pass along. So, if you ever find yourself less than jolly during the holiday season, read on...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year (insert holiday tunes here)… unless you have experienced loss, trauma, neglect, moved suddenly, lost a job, separated, or divorced, experienced physical illness, volatile behaviors of a family member, substance abusing behaviors of a loved one, or mental illness.

So what happens when you or your child experiences losses and changes beyond your control and the holiday season arrives? Everyone appears so jolly and excited, and your experiences have left you feeling like you want to curl up and hibernate through the holiday season.

Here are 7 ways to honor yourself and help your child transition through difficult times during the holidays:

1. Allow yourself to express your feelings- You may feel like you don’t want to be a downer at the holiday party when people ask you how you’re doing, so you put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay, and reply “I’m fine”. Yes, opening up your emotional floodgates at a party may not be the best way to communicate your feelings; however, you can honor yourself, and your feelings and let others know “it’s been a difficult time”. Model this behavior with your children, so they know that they don’t have to mask their feelings and pretend to be happy in order to make others feel okay.

2. Listen to yourself- Take time to hear and listen to what you need. That may mean saying no thank you to invitations and spending an evening at home reading a book. You may need to quite down the busyness in order to hear what you need. You can use the art making process to ask yourself what you need right now, and then allow yourself to express that through the art. Art making can help your child to become quite and connect with their inner voice so they can honor their needs too.

3. Find ways to honor your loss- Put together a photo album honoring memories, create a memory box, use glass paint and paint a glass candleholder in honor of your experiences. Take time to be with your feelings and help your child find ways to honor and express their grief and loss.

4. Create a new story- Grief and losses often involve letting go of how things used to be. Take the time to acknowledge and honor what was, and then look at how you choose to create a new story. Get creative with a blank journal or art paper and create images and words of what you are welcoming into your life.

5. Seek out support- Being alone in your pain often amplifies the feelings of being disconnected and unsupported. Find close friends, support groups, or a therapist to help you during difficult times. You will go through a period of “new normal” where things will never be as they were before; surrounding yourself with support will help you and your child navigate this transition.

6. Let go of other people’s stuff- When you are honest with your feelings or when problems arise in your home good intentioned family and friends may jump in to offer unsolicited advice or comments. Realize that their response is their stuff; perhaps they feel uncomfortable, or they want you to feel better, and move on, or they want to fix it. Thank them for their concern, and let them know what you need, “sometimes I just need talk things through, or someone to just listen, or I just need to express that I feel upset”. If they are unable to support you in the way you would like or continue to give unsolicited advice let them know how you feel and seek out support from those who will respect your process.

7. Be gentle with yourself- You may want to push through the pain or you may become overly critical of yourself and others. Model being kind with yourself and teach your children to be compassionate with their own feelings and behaviors, this will be a life-long gift you will share with your child.

If you want help getting through the holiday season, and are interested in finding out more information about talking to a counselor, contact us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or by phone 240-274-5680. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com for details.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper
Director, Another Look at Healing, Counseling and Wellness Center

Article By:
Dr. Laura Dessauer’s mission is to teach children, parents, and professionals creative ways to connect and communicate with respect and compassion, so children feel happier and more confident. As the founder of the Creativity Queen, LLC, Laura’s a Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist offering individual and family art therapy sessions and professional trainings. Visit www.thecreativityqueen.com to receive your free audio mini-course Secrets Your Kids Really Don’t Want You to Know: A Child Art Therapist Tells All (*except for the confidential stuff)
© 2011 Laura Dessauer, Creativity Queen LLC

Thanksgiving Tips – Food for Thought!

Each year, we look at why the holiday season is such a difficult time for many people. A few of the reasons we over viewed were: Family Time, including the in-laws, Traveling Issues, Long To Do Lists and of course Holiday Meals. In this blog, we will look more specifically into a few of these topics and discuss some specific steps to help relieve holiday stress.

“I always overeat during the holidays, how can I stop?"

1. Mindfulness! During the meal, be present and pay attention to yourself.
Are you filling your plate to the brim just because that’s what everyone else does? Are you drinking alcohol to “loosen up”, if so, identify what is making you feel uncomfortable and address it directly. Are you actually tasting each bite, or just the first few and then you slip into robotic eating mode? Do you eat to quickly to even give yourself time to feel full?

2. Treat Yourself! Allow yourself permission to feel good both before and after the meal. If you always end up feeling so stuffed it is painfully uncomfortable, or you feel guilty afterwards, treat yourself to the gift of feeling good. Know that you can eat a wonderful meal, and even have dessert without completely filling yourself until you want to pop! Take less food – you can always go back for seconds if you are still hungry. You earned the right to feel good.

3. Enjoy Nature! Take a Walk. After the meal, get the family together or a special relative to take a walk with. This will give you some time to talk, get some fresh air, use your muscles and energize.

4. Match Making! If you feel like eating cassarole, don’t eat salad and expect to feel satisfied. If you want a slice of pie, don’t restrict yourself from doing so or you could end up eating the whole pie 2 hours later! It helps to check in with yourself and your body to see what you are hungry for – does your body feel like it needs carbs, protein, sweets? If you eat what your body wants you to eat – make matches between what you want and what you have – then you are more likely to feel satisfied after each meal.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Meanwhile, I would LOVE to hear your feedback! Send an email to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com with any questions or comments, and let me know what helps you de-stress over the holiday season. All communication will remain confidential. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/therapywork for details.

Thanks for checking in!
–Amy L. Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Why are the holidays so stressful?

The Holiday Season can be a joyful time for many. For other's, this time of year can be extremely difficult. If you are interested in enjoying this holiday season and learning some tecniques to help you do so, read on...
We are now in the middle of the Holiday Season. How are you feeling? For many, this time of year is filled with love and joy, and at times some stress; for others, this can be one of the most difficult and lonely times of the year. Why is this time of year so wonderful for many people while it is such a challenge for others? Let’s take a look at the top three reasons…

Holiday Difficulties:

1. Family Time: Spending time with family can be stressful or not having family to spend time with can be lonely.
2. High cost of gifts, traveling and time off of work.
3. The emphasis on food. What you eat, when you eat, why you eat.

Holiday Delights:

1. Family Time: Many loved ones including family and friends have gatherings and spend time together.
2. Giving to others, Going on Adventures around the country (or world) to see family and friends and a break from work, time off to rejuvenate and refresh.
3. The delicious food and the traditions associated with it.

Let’s take a look at each of these issues, both pros and cons in detail in the next blog post with some specific steps to help relieve holiday difficulties.
We are excited to let you know about a couple of events coming up including a Stress & Anxiety Relief Workshop on January 22nd and a new psychotherapy group we are starting for people who want to work on their interpersonal and assertiveness skills. If you are interested in either of these events, or would like to set up a free phone consultation, call us today at 240-274-5680. For more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com/aboutus for details.

Holiday Survival Guide (Part II) - What can you do to not only survive, but thrive during this holiday season?

Last month, we looked at why the holiday season is such a difficult time for many people. A few of the reasons we overviewed were: Time with family, The In laws, Traveling Issues and of course Holiday Meals. In this blog, we will look more specifically into a few of these topics and discuss some specific steps to help relieve holiday stress. We will be answering the questions many of you wrote in about your particular holiday stressors.

“I always overeat during the holidays, how can I stop?"
1. Be Present! During the meal, pay attention to yourself.
Are you filling your plate to the brim just because that’s what everyone else does? Are you drinking alcohol to “loosen up”, if so, identify what is making you feel uncomfortable and address it directly. Are you actually tasting each bite, or just the first few and then you slip into robotic eating mode? Do you eat to quickly to even give yourself time to feel full?
2. Treat Yourself! Allow yourself permission to feel good both before and after the meal. If you always end up feeling so stuffed it is painfully uncomfortable, or you feel guilty afterwards, treat yourself to the gift of feeling good. Know that you can eat a wonderful meal, and even have dessert without completely filling yourself until you want to pop! Take less food – you can always go back for seconds if you are still hungry. You earned the right to feel good.
3. Enjoy Nature! Take a Walk. After the meal, get the family together or a special relative to take a walk with. This will give you some time to talk, get some fresh air, use your muscles and energize.

“I spend so much time cooking and cleaning, by the time my family arrives, I’m exhausted, but I don’t know what else to do!”
1. Plan! What has been the most stressful in the past? Once you figure that out – decide how to best handle this situation again when it comes up again.
2. Simplify! What activities are the MOST important to you? Is it family dinner, gift exchange, sending cards, shopping? Think about if the activity’s hassle and difficulties are outweighed by the positive emotional results. If you are a visual person, write it out on paper to help you decide. Then pick a few tasks and really take the time to enjoy them.
3. No More Worrying! Often we are too busy doing everything that we are not enjoying doing anything! Live in the moment – stop and time the time to enjoy yourself, which means not worrying about preparing for the next activity and not worrying about previous mishaps from earlier in the day. Be Present in the here and now.
4. Stop Overdoing It! Scale down on everything; it will make life much easier. Instead of sending holiday cards, send e-cards or instead of making 5 different side dishes, make only one or have guests bring the sides.

It is easy to lose sight of what’s important when you have your plate full (literally and figuratively) with holiday planning and prepping. Let’s not forget what the holidays are really about - time for gratitude, love (for self and others), family and giving.

More tips to come in December for Holiday Survival Part III! Meanwhile, I would LOVE to hear your feedback! Send an email to AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com with any questions or comments, and let me know what helps you de-stress over the holiday season. All communication will remain confidential.

Thanks for checking in!
–Amy L. Hooper, LGSW
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

Holiday Survival Guide (Part I) - Why are the holidays so stressful?

It is now autumn and with the chilling of the air comes one of the most difficult times of the year for many people. The holiday season. Thanksgiving will be here before you know it, then Chanukah and Christmas swiftly followed by New Year’s. But why is this time of year such a challenge for so many people? Let’s take a look at a few reasons…

1. Spending time (or not spending time) with your own family can be stressful.
- Do you turn back into your teenage self? Do your parents try to parent you like you're a child?
- Do you act a certain way around your family that is not the real you?

2. Spending time (or not spending time) with your in-law’s can be extremely difficult.
- Are there certain expectations?
- Do you feel judged?
- How do you decide how much time to spend with each family?

3. Travel is getting more difficult each year.
- Delayed flights.
- More cars on the road means tons of traffic.

4. Food. What you eat, when you eat, why you eat.
- Do you have eating issues that are exacerbated by being with family?
- Does it seem like the most important part of the holiday to your family, is food?


I would love to hear your feedback! Send me an email (AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com) with a question about what to do about your holidays situation. Or let me know what makes the holiday season difficult for you or the people around you. All communication will remain confidential.

Stay tuned for Part II where we will address “What can you do to not only survive, but thrive during this holiday season”.

Take Good Care,

–Amy L. Hooper, LGSW
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC