Managing Family Relationships During the Holidays

While it might be the most wonderful time of the year for some, for others it may be a difficult time to manage. The happy picture of the family gathered around the table, decorating the Christmas tree, or lighting the menorah may be real for many. There are others that have a different kind of experience in the family of origin and may have other feelings around the holiday season. Gathering with the family may be a tough, conflicting decision to make-wanting to be together with family and at the same time perhaps wanting to avoid a particular relative or keep some distance from some unhealthy family dynamics.

This holiday season try and allow yourself the permission and healthy opportunity to consider and implement what your needs are and what feels right for you. Respecting your own feelings, experiences, and wants and needs could be new to some. This might mean making different decisions or trying a new response to an old situation. That could mean choosing not to attend a gathering, or setting a brief time to go, say to visit for dessert. You may also contemplate getting together with friends, staying home, or creating your own fun and safe traditions.

The holiday times for the healthiest of families can be stressful! If you are struggling with this holiday season and would like to see if meeting with one of our counselors could be helpful for you, contact us at Gaithersburg Counseling Center at admin@healingllc.com, www.healingllc.com or 240-274-5680.

Another Look at Healing, LLC - Gaithersburg Counseling Center Moved!

Come by and check out our new office in Gaithersburg, MD!!! We move into a beautiful new suite.
We are now offering daytime, evening and weekend counseling for individual, couples, family and group therapy. We help children, teens and adults live happier, healthier lives!

Contact me for more information at Admin@HealingLLC.com or 240-274-5680 or visit our website at www.HealingLLC.com.

Pictures to follow soon!!!

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

The Keys to Happiness - Learning to feel good about you!

Last month we looked at  some suggestions on how to identify your strengths and how that can lead to more happiness and fulfillment in your life!

A few suggestions on how to identify strengths:

1. There are a number of free inventories on line that can be a great starting point (VIA, etc: https://www.viame.org/survey/Account/Register)

2. Call a close friend or invite your spouse and set a coffee date. Try this little exercise: Take 10 minutes and write down 3 situations in your life that you worked on or helped with and of which you are proud. Then, take 10 more minutes and tell those stories to your friend. Think about: What was it like to tell those stories?  How did it feel?

2b. To take it one step further, you can ask your partner or friend help you out. Ask your partner listen for different strengths that emerge through your stories and ask them to share with you about your areas of strength? You can also offer to do this exercise for them if they want to share stories of their proud moments.

3. Think about the last few weeks, and try to remember when you were feeling the most happy and fulfilled. What were you doing during that time? Who were you with? What did that activity (or inactivity) come to be happening? Then consider adding more of this particular activity into your regular routine.

Maybe these couple of exercises helps you feel more positive, grounded and balanced. Or maybe they leave you feeling stuck. Have you considered talking to a therapist or counselor about these issues?  At Another Look at Healing, Counseling Center for women, we can help with this search for greater self-awareness and finding those strengths to help you feel happier and more fulfilled. For more information, you can email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or call us at 240-274-5680. Or for more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP

Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

www.HealingLLC.com

AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com

240-274-5680

HANDLING RELATIONSHIP BUMPS - by Dr. Stephanie Buehler @ The Buehler Institute

It isn't the bumps--it's how you handle them that counts.  Here are some pointers for getting past conflict and returning to harmony:  After an argument, make sure that the issue has been resolved.   What will be different in the future?  How will you make that happen? If the conflict has passed and is resolved, forgive your partner, who is after all only human--just like you.  And apologize.  Whether you started the conflict or helped it to escalate, take responsibility and say sorry.  If it is an issue that doesn't have a good solution, accept the outcome with grace. Don't use your ability to forgive to manipulate a partner or guilt trip them.    Be assertive.  Stay with "I" statements when telling your partner how you are feeling and what you want going forward. Plan to do something that fosters a feeling of togetherness.  This can be as simple as lying in spoons, or going on a date. Learn to let go and move past conflict.  Holding onto feelings of anger can foster more conflict.    Couples that are harmonious tend to have a better sex life.  The phrase is, "make love, not war," not "make war, hang onto bad feelings, and try to repair it with sex"! Article written by: Dr. Stephanie Buehler The Buehler Institute

Giving Thanks and Self Care this Holiday Season

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.” ~ Henry Van Dyke

Each year, Thanksgiving Day reminds us to take a moment to note the things and people in our lives for which we are grateful. While we may feel gratitude for those people or things we already have in our lives, sometimes it is not only difficult to acknowledge and embrace those feelings, but to truly appreciate that for which we are thankful as well.

Gratitude is the base from which appreciation grows. That means we can be grateful for something or someone in our lives without really appreciating it. The subtle shift from gratitude to appreciation involves being more thoughtfully aware and active in reflecting on the reasons we feel grateful about something or someone. Through present moment awareness, we begin to generate feelings of appreciation.

For example, we can be grateful for having a close friendship. However, we can go further and appreciate our friend’s beauty, intelligence, and sense of humor, as well as her thoughtfulness, trustworthiness and helpfulness. In this way, we move beyond thankfulness as we consciously recognize the value and significance that our friend adds to our lives.

The next step – expressing our appreciation or “giving thanks”, in the language of the season – is often the greatest challenge.

All too often we remain silent, not showing the people we love how thankful we are to have them in our lives. This is not necessarily for lack of good intentions. Life just gets in the way or we struggle to find the words. We forget to say a simple “thank you”, or write a heartfelt note of thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on these intentions. This is a time to ask oneself, “Am I thanking those who mean the most? Am I giving back a bit of what I have been given?” But even if we lack the ways to express our appreciation, simply bringing to mind our thankfulness and appreciation will make us feel brighter, lighter, happier, more inspired, energized, and loved this holiday season.

For more help feeling good this holiday season, counseling can help. Call or email us today for an appointment at 240-274-5680 or AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC - Counseling Center for Women and Families

Six Quick Tips for Dating this Summer!

Dating: 

It can be a daunting, tiring process, but it can help if you do your best to go in with a positive outlook and positive, hopeful attitude.  Whether you are in the dating world or thinking about how to get back in the dating pool here are a few tips and ideas that can help keep you afloat.

Tips:

1. Broaden your options by joining in different activities that interest YOU in order to create a win - win situation. Do something you enjoy whether its playing softball, running, board games, reading books, etc. There is likely a club or activity partners looking for people like yourself to partner up with. Even if you don't meet someone "special" the chances are you are at least having fun, meeting people, and putting yourself out there. (You can try MeetUp.com to find fun things to do in your area!)

2. Take a risk and allow yourself to be moderately vulnerable. You don't have to reveal all of your deepest, darkest secrets on the first date. However, it helps to be genuine and allow your personality out for others to get to know you. 

3. Don't limit yourself to the bar scene, or thinking that's the only way to meet someone new. Everyday and every place provides opportunity to connect with others ( think book store, airport, church/temple, gym). Try going alone; you will be more approachable and more inclined to make conversation with others.

4. Make eye contact and smile.

5. Been in the game for a while? Try taking a break and “dating yourself”. Nourish, give to yourself, and love you before you get back to trying to love someone else.

6. If you want help with your dating and relationships, counseling can help you better understand your needs and wants, as well as help you understand what might be working or not working with the dating you have tried and what you can do differently to create the outcome you desire. For more information about setting up a counseling appointment, contact us today at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or call 240-274-5680.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP

Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC