The Keys to Happiness - Learning to feel good about you!

Last month we looked at  some suggestions on how to identify your strengths and how that can lead to more happiness and fulfillment in your life!

A few suggestions on how to identify strengths:

1. There are a number of free inventories on line that can be a great starting point (VIA, etc: https://www.viame.org/survey/Account/Register)

2. Call a close friend or invite your spouse and set a coffee date. Try this little exercise: Take 10 minutes and write down 3 situations in your life that you worked on or helped with and of which you are proud. Then, take 10 more minutes and tell those stories to your friend. Think about: What was it like to tell those stories?  How did it feel?

2b. To take it one step further, you can ask your partner or friend help you out. Ask your partner listen for different strengths that emerge through your stories and ask them to share with you about your areas of strength? You can also offer to do this exercise for them if they want to share stories of their proud moments.

3. Think about the last few weeks, and try to remember when you were feeling the most happy and fulfilled. What were you doing during that time? Who were you with? What did that activity (or inactivity) come to be happening? Then consider adding more of this particular activity into your regular routine.

Maybe these couple of exercises helps you feel more positive, grounded and balanced. Or maybe they leave you feeling stuck. Have you considered talking to a therapist or counselor about these issues?  At Another Look at Healing, Counseling Center for women, we can help with this search for greater self-awareness and finding those strengths to help you feel happier and more fulfilled. For more information, you can email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com or call us at 240-274-5680. Or for more information, visit www.HealingLLC.com.

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP

Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

www.HealingLLC.com

AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com

240-274-5680

What are you good at and does it make you happy? Identifying Strengths

Work, caring for small children, spouse or dating partner, “me time”, in-laws and other family members and the typical routines of life can feel exhausting at times. It can be so overwhelming that we just go through the motions, day after day without direction. It can be helpful to take some time to stop, evaluate and regroup to be sure you’re living the life you want! It can help to sort out the answers to some questions like…

What are my strengths?  

What am I good at?

What brings me satisfaction?

Of what am I proud?  

Taking time to identify some strengths and areas that bring you energy can be a rewarding exercise to pull through a slump or difficult time and get back on track to feeling happier and more fulfilled in your every day life. So, take a minute to answer these questions and spend some time feeling good about you!

Stay tuned next month for some suggestions on how to identify your strengths and how that can lead to more happiness and fulfillment in your life!

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP

Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC

www.HealingLLC.com

AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com

240-274-5680

Self Help for 2014 - What are you resolving to do next year?

As each year comes to a close, we’re often compelled to think of our New Year’s resolutions – This year, I’m going to…“cut chocolate out of my diet and drink less soda.”, “exercise more – maybe 3 times a week?”, “read more books or join a book club”, “do more of the things that I want to do, but never get around to doing.”… the list goes on.

These resolutions translate into the various components of life -- relationships, financial stability, health (emotional, spiritual and physical), giving back to the world, having a meaning in life -- all of which influence each of us differently, shape our experiences, and affect our overall well-being.

As this year nears its end and we look ahead to 2014, what if, instead of thinking about our resolutions, we challenge ourselves to view the different aspects of our lives as part of a broader journey toward greater personal growth?

If we ask ourselves questions such as: How can I be kinder to myself? How can I ask more for what I want and need? And how can I communicate my feelings with others more effectively? Then we’re thinking about the things in life that lead to healthier living. Taking the time to figure out these issues is no easy task, so we at Another Look at Healing, LLC – Counseling and Wellness Center, would like to offer several tips to help you along your journey:

1.      Take reasonable steps. You want to match your personality, skill set, strengths and weaknesses to the goals you’re setting.  And make sure the goals are not too big or too small. This way, the chances of disappointment are decreased, and your motivation increased by achieving what you have set for yourself to accomplish.

2.      Set clear goals. The more you can identify and clarify your goals, the more motivated you will become to achieve them. For example, write down specific lists of exactly what you want to accomplish, and then break it down into tangible, practical steps.

3.      Use your senses. See, hear, and feel what it’s like to have that thing or person you so desire. Visualizing your goals may inspire you to achieve them!

4.      Your goals are yours and not someone else’s. Your goals need to resonate with who you are and what you’re capable of.  Focusing on what someone else has that you don’t or what someone else can do that you want to be able to, can impose a lot of stress without much joy. Keep our #1 tip in mind here!

5.      Balance. Balance. Balance. Sticking to one area of your life too much and for too long while ignoring other areas may backfire, so be aware of your priorities, and look at your life in the long term as well as short with a sense of moderation.

Finally, your actions speak louder than your words. When you respect your word (whether thinking to yourself or talking aloud) and follow through with your actions, you build a sense of trust within yourself that helps you become stronger, more determined and more you. This holiday season, look inside to find the wisest part of you for the answers of what you want to accomplish this next year.

If you need any additional support learning how to become more authentically you, and have the healthier, happier life you always wanted, our counselors are available to help. Call us today at 240-274-5680 or email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com for a free consultation.  

HANDLING RELATIONSHIP BUMPS - by Dr. Stephanie Buehler @ The Buehler Institute

It isn't the bumps--it's how you handle them that counts.  Here are some pointers for getting past conflict and returning to harmony:  After an argument, make sure that the issue has been resolved.   What will be different in the future?  How will you make that happen? If the conflict has passed and is resolved, forgive your partner, who is after all only human--just like you.  And apologize.  Whether you started the conflict or helped it to escalate, take responsibility and say sorry.  If it is an issue that doesn't have a good solution, accept the outcome with grace. Don't use your ability to forgive to manipulate a partner or guilt trip them.    Be assertive.  Stay with "I" statements when telling your partner how you are feeling and what you want going forward. Plan to do something that fosters a feeling of togetherness.  This can be as simple as lying in spoons, or going on a date. Learn to let go and move past conflict.  Holding onto feelings of anger can foster more conflict.    Couples that are harmonious tend to have a better sex life.  The phrase is, "make love, not war," not "make war, hang onto bad feelings, and try to repair it with sex"! Article written by: Dr. Stephanie Buehler The Buehler Institute

Giving Thanks and Self Care this Holiday Season

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.” ~ Henry Van Dyke

Each year, Thanksgiving Day reminds us to take a moment to note the things and people in our lives for which we are grateful. While we may feel gratitude for those people or things we already have in our lives, sometimes it is not only difficult to acknowledge and embrace those feelings, but to truly appreciate that for which we are thankful as well.

Gratitude is the base from which appreciation grows. That means we can be grateful for something or someone in our lives without really appreciating it. The subtle shift from gratitude to appreciation involves being more thoughtfully aware and active in reflecting on the reasons we feel grateful about something or someone. Through present moment awareness, we begin to generate feelings of appreciation.

For example, we can be grateful for having a close friendship. However, we can go further and appreciate our friend’s beauty, intelligence, and sense of humor, as well as her thoughtfulness, trustworthiness and helpfulness. In this way, we move beyond thankfulness as we consciously recognize the value and significance that our friend adds to our lives.

The next step – expressing our appreciation or “giving thanks”, in the language of the season – is often the greatest challenge.

All too often we remain silent, not showing the people we love how thankful we are to have them in our lives. This is not necessarily for lack of good intentions. Life just gets in the way or we struggle to find the words. We forget to say a simple “thank you”, or write a heartfelt note of thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on these intentions. This is a time to ask oneself, “Am I thanking those who mean the most? Am I giving back a bit of what I have been given?” But even if we lack the ways to express our appreciation, simply bringing to mind our thankfulness and appreciation will make us feel brighter, lighter, happier, more inspired, energized, and loved this holiday season.

For more help feeling good this holiday season, counseling can help. Call or email us today for an appointment at 240-274-5680 or AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC - Counseling Center for Women and Families

Why Is Going to Therapy So Difficult?

Ever feel like therapy is too hard or wished it didn't have to be so hard? Most people have that feeling at one time or another during a course of treatment and it may help to have a bit of understanding of why it is such a challenge and what is going on inside of you. So, first, applause to you for taking a step in a direction of helping yourself!  Regardless of what you might feel you need help with, actually looking at what is getting in your way of change can begin the changing process! As you already may have realized, change itself is difficult. Look how long you have been going along in your life, feeling, acting, behaving, being this certain way. Even when you have the best of intentions of changing; said change is often still quite challenging. 
We as humans are hard wired to build up defenses (essentially ways of protecting ourselves from "potential" harms way). When you come to therapy often times those defenses are no longer working effectively for you. It is likely because the defenses have become more of a barrier to those around you and yourself from feeling whatever it is that you may feel. A well trained therapist will help you to become aware of these defenses and feelings that arise during your sessions and explore what might be occurring. Your therapist wants to help you reach your goals; with time, patience, and a good fit you may just see and feel some of the change you are hoping for and working towards.Try and be kind to yourself during this process; its tough, though you are worth it.


For more assistance finding a therapist who is a good fit for you, feel free to call our office at 240-274-5680 or for more information about our therapists, visit www.HealingLLC.com.

Take Good Care,
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP

What to say when someone dies...

Everyone experiences the loss of a loved one as part of life. Though it is a part of life, it can often be a difficult one to know how to navigate for those directly and indirectly affected by such losses. Others losses can remind us of our own recent or distant losses. You may be afraid to say “the wrong thing”; however if you stop and think about it, is there a “wrong” way to show and express your sympathy for ones loss? Take this opportunity to really stop and think…

Now, in thinking about someones loss try and challenge yourself to wonder what you would want and need  from a friend, co-worker, or family member if you were the one closely affected by the death.

Do you want someone to be with you?

Do you need some space and time to reflect?

Do you need to not think about making dinner for the next week?

Do you want a hug and a good cry?

It is important to remember everyone grieves differently, in our own way and own time. It can be helpful to keep in mind that even though some time may have passed, the loss is still very real and present for that person. Acknowledgement of this can be so meaningful; having a witness to ones grief (whether it  be a therapist or friend) can really offer the feeling of not being so alone.

If you have having a difficult time with a recent or previous loss, and want some support working through it, feel free to call our office at 240-274-5680 or email us at AnotherLook@HealingLLC.com to start getting the help you are looking for. 

Take Good Care,

Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP

Director, Another Look at Healing, LLC